Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.”

“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV Please do NOT fight for your marriage, faithful spouses!  Doing that simply perpetuates the wrong idea that a cheater is entitled to a marriage they have discarded … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.””

Cheater-Speak: “Well, I never said anything bad about you to our friends.”

“Well, I never said anything bad about you to our friends.” -Cheater Show of virtual “hands:” Who has heard a version of this from his or her cheater? I “see” those “hands.” Permit me to share a couple observations of what is happening when a cheater speaks like this: 1. This is a damage control … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Well, I never said anything bad about you to our friends.””

Learning from Jonah: Do NOT Build a “Smiting Shelter!”

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. – Jonah 4:5, NIV   And so, Jonah built himself a shelter to watch God, hopefully, smite the Ninevites. He made … Continue reading “Learning from Jonah: Do NOT Build a “Smiting Shelter!””

Cheaters are not “winners.”

So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. -Genesis 25:33-34, NIV My integrity is not for sale. It is very precious to me. If I break my promise, this valuing … Continue reading “Cheaters are not “winners.””

On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness

For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. -Romans 8:16, NLT So, you have discovered that your spouse has been unfaithful. He (or she) cheated on you and hid the double life with copious lies for months and possibly years. Now, you must decide what you do with new information. What does … Continue reading “On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness”

When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…”

Tweaking Blog Following Saturday’s MN BlogCon

Well, you have probably noticed some cosmetic changes on Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously. Last Saturday, I attended my first blogging conference in my home state, Minnesota. They gave me some ideas, and I have been tweaking my blog a little bit here and there since to try and extend my reach. Thanks for bearing … Continue reading “Tweaking Blog Following Saturday’s MN BlogCon”

Christians, you don’t have to be friends with your cheating ex! Really.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” -Matthew 23:15, NIV Public Service Announcement: Faithful spouses, you don’t have to become BFFs with … Continue reading “Christians, you don’t have to be friends with your cheating ex! Really.”

Stupid Stuff (Naive) Christians Say

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice and condemnation come all too freely for faithful spouses.  Here a few … Continue reading “Stupid Stuff (Naive) Christians Say”