“You have to ask yourself: Why did she HAVE TO leave you?” – Cheater Apologist The pain of being abandoned is bad enough without the added insult of this mind game. A spouse who leaves another spouse is making a choice. To pose a question like this to the abandoned party is to obscure this fact … Continue reading “Abandoning Spouses CHOSE!”
Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists
This morning I woke up to an email from Chump Lady. She sent me an insightful comment made on her blog post “Quit Waiting for an Apology.“ Here is what Nyra, who left the comment, wrote: Christians are easy targets for narcissistic people to manipulate & gaslight: Christians are to forgive someone 70×70 times therefore… … Continue reading “Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists”
Narrative Control As Abuse
Cheaters often are very insistent about controlling the narrative on what happened to end the marriage. Some think that they are entitled to avoid the natural consequences that come with doing something very, very bad. You know, the sort of consequences that people tend to trust and esteem you less knowing how you treacherously betrayed your (former) … Continue reading “Narrative Control As Abuse”
Divorcing a cheater and social media
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” -Isaiah 43:18, NIV Divorcing and–to a lesser degree–breaking up in general with a cheater is made more difficult during this age of electronic connection. We are all just more connected than we ever were through the blessing and curse known as social media. Within a … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater and social media”
And then it was just another day.
And then it was just another day. Yesterday marked the anniversary of my divorce decree. The strange thing is that I had completely forgotten about that fact until today. In fact, I only remembered because I got engaged to Mrs. DM the day following my year anniversary of the divorce. I saw a picture reminding … Continue reading “And then it was just another day.”
Crossing God!
“I speak to him face to face, clearly, and not in riddles! He sees the Lord as he is. So why were you not afraid to criticize my servant Moses?” The Lord was very angry with them, and he departed. -Numbers 12:9-10, NLT God’s anger can be a healing balm to the soul. Last night, … Continue reading “Crossing God!”
Comments On Your Healing
I can tell that you are still healing. -Faithful Spouse “Observer” Statements like this bother me. They are judgments. I am being judged when someone says this. Someone is looking at me, and giving me their assessment of my healing process–usually without invitation. Such judgments often times put me on the defensive. I feel like I have … Continue reading “Comments On Your Healing”
Master Manipulation
Test all things; hold fast what is good. -I Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV A master manipulator knows how to take a potential weakness and work it into a strength. They know how to leverage a situation. Cheaters are master manipulators, IMO. The speed at which a cheater can turn a confession of infidelity into a discussion … Continue reading “Master Manipulation”
Calculated Craziness
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. -Romans 5:8, NLT Am I getting a good deal in this marriage? This sort of thinking is a hallmark of a cheater, IMO. It leads to all sorts of “justifying” and nefarious behavior. The score … Continue reading “Calculated Craziness”
No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!
An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…. -I Timothy 3:2, NASB Some cheaters have absolutely no shame. They get caught and retroactively try to make it look like it was and is okay. Maybe they suggest an open marriage? Maybe they suggest a … Continue reading “No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!”