The other day I was driving through an area I had been in the past. It provoked some weird feelings. One of the last times I had driven through that area was for my ecclesiastical trial deposition. This was where my former denomination convened a panel of pastors roughly my father’s age who were disastrously … Continue reading “Ghost of Trauma’s Past”
Divorce – A Mercy and Gift
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV I am grateful for the merciful gift of divorce. The mercy is for the faithful spouse. They are set free from the destructive path the cheater is hell-bent to follow to their ultimate spiritual destruction (see Hebrews … Continue reading “Divorce – A Mercy and Gift”
No Hierarchy in One
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. -Genesis 2:24, KJV Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. -Deuteronomy 6:4, NIV No Hierarchy in Oneness In some theological circles, marriage is taught as a hierarchy where the … Continue reading “No Hierarchy in One”
Just a footnote to your awesomeness!
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Just a footnote to your awesomeness!”
Marriage Stress Reveals Character
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:, KJV I do not see an “unless” in this command from God. All marriages experience stress. It might be finances, children, or health related matters or all the above. Such stress is not a pass to choose to commit adultery. The command stands that we are NOT … Continue reading “Marriage Stress Reveals Character”
Wait to date
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “Wait to date”
Worried About Forever Holding It Over Their Heads
“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “Worried About Forever Holding It Over Their Heads”
On (ex) In-Law Lectures
On (ex) In-Law Lectures I wonder how many of us endured lectures from (ex) in-laws who thought they knew how to “fix” things by assigning blame to us. Lack of humility did not skip a generation. Maybe they felt emboldened to tell us how we were not measuring up to being “a man?” Maybe they … Continue reading “On (ex) In-Law Lectures”
Issues Applying “Failed Marriage” Label
“Failed Marriage” label implies agency lacking in divorces from Cheaters. Who failed at marriage was the Cheater, not the faithful spouse. This is why I particularly despise this label. It suggests equal responsibility for the ending of a marriage. “Failed Marriage” obscures the violence done to our marriages by our Cheater. It is “polite” way … Continue reading “Issues Applying “Failed Marriage” Label”
Holding Your Boundaries Is NOT Punishment!
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Holding Your Boundaries Is NOT Punishment!”