“You belong to your father, the devil… When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

John 8:44a,c, NIV

When lies become a lifestyle, it is hard to break free of those bad habits.

This is why I have such a low estimation of a cheater’s likelihood of truly reforming and repenting. He or she has to break habits that are ingrained into their daily practice. They need a total character transformation.

In other words, Cheaters need to forsake the Kingdom of Lies for the Kingdom of Truth. For most, I doubt this actually ever happens.

Spiritually, this is the deepest problem when dealing with a cheater. They cannot be trusted as they are liars and deceivers. Some are so self-deceived that they actually believe the lies they speak.

As long as they are in the grips of the Kingdom of Lies, there is no hope for a godly marriage resurrection. It is just a matter of time before that marriage is ravaged, again, by the cheater as the spiritual cancer was never addressed.

This is yet another reason why it is so wicked that pastors focus on the marriage ravaged by infidelity as opposed to the lifestyle of lies developed by the cheater.

A wise pastor understands this. He does not allow a cheater to deflect from the work that needs to be done on their own souls. And if a cheater refuses to do the work, then–sadly–we know which father is his or her true father.