Like a used tissue.

“I felt like a used piece of tissue paper. Just thrown away in the trash.” 

– Vineyard pastor

The quote might not be exact.

However, I will never forget the thrust of what she said. The message was unmistakable.

This brave pastoral spouse shared to a young Vineyard Church about her experience of being sexually assaulted. She vividly described how she felt the next morning–i.e. used and discarded like a piece of disgusting trash full of boogers.

Her description resonated with me as a faithful and abandoned spouse.

Used.

And discarded with disgust.

It is hard to feel otherwise after trusting someone for years only to be rejected while she engaged in sex with a different partner.

The reality is the adulterous, abandoning spouse threw away gold!

They are the fools, not the faithful spouses. It might seem to the world or even to the faithful spouse at the time that the faithful spouse is worthless, but that is trading in worldly wisdom, not godly wisdom (I Cor 3:19).

That said, I do not want to minimize the feelings.

They are real.

And painful.

It is okay if you, too, resonate with this quote.

But remember, you were purchased with God’s own blood (I Peter 1:18-19).

You are incredibly valuable.

However foolish your adulterous (ex) spouse treated you, God gets the final word on your worth.

Never forget that.


*A version of this post ran previously.