Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?

“How to respond when both spouses in a marriage have committed adultery; and remain impenitent.  Should you maintain a friendship with both, either, or neither?”

Iwoots

Dear Iwoots,

What does the Bible have to say about such a situation?

But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy…. Do not even eat with such people.

-I Corinthians 5:11a,c, NIV

I would say that unrepentant cheaters are in the category of “sexually immoral….” (This teaching, though, is for those calling themselves followers of Christ yet living such lives of sexual sin.)

Personally, I think a lot of this can be handled by not spending time or otherwise investing in relationships with people who engage in this sort of behavior. Do you really want to be associated with someone who is willing and has actually betrayed their closest human relationship?

Cheaters do not just break trust with their spouse, they also break trust in other relationships, imo.

That is not the sort of “friend” I want.

Plus, that is not the sort of friendship we are called to support directly as I Corinthians 5:11 teaches. Love looks like stepping away from the relationship until repentance occurs.

-Pastor David (aka DM)