She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. 

-Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT

The never-divorce stance of some Christians and pastors puts faithful spouses in a very passive position.

They just have to take the abuse. Something is fundamentally wrong with one’s theology when accepting (and enabling, even) sin is what is taught.

One of the few options faithful spouses have in these difficult situations is choosing to divorce a spouse who has contempt for God and refuses to stop sinning.

It is important this option is available to faithful spouses as it gives them a way to exercise their agency in a godly way (see Mt 1:19). Instead of getting stuck in passivity, the faithful spouse has an option to break free from the cycles of destructive abuse from their partner.

With this option, they are not dependent upon something they do not control–namely the response and actions of their cheating partner. They can choose for themselves whether this marriage is acceptable under these abusive terms.

Since God did not tolerate Israel’s ongoing adultery, I do not see why His followers need to do so in our human marriages. There is no shame in saying, “Enough!” ____

*A version of this post ran previously.