Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
-Romans 12:15, KJV
When going through adultery discovery, the validation of true friends is a balm to a hurting soul.
Religious people are tempted to foist “forgiveness” on the grieving faithful spouse. They skip over the acknowledgement of the severe injustices the faithful spouse experienced.
They just don’t want the faithful spouse to “get stuck” or “become bitter.”
Somehow, that equates to turning a blind eye to the injustices experienced. This is not a recipe for healing OR freedom from real bitterness. It does the exact opposite of what the advice purports to do–namely, it actually helps keep faithful spouses stuck in their pain.
Until we SEE and acknowledge reality–including our feelings, we cannot even begin the process of healing.
Healing starts with naming the hurt and the injustices. Only then can we start the forgiving process as we cannot forgive non-sins.
If you want to help a faithful spouse, acknowledge and name their losses and the injustices. SEE and validate their pain. Let them know that being angry over the injustices is not only understandable but healthy, godly.
I have never got such acknowledgement from my church friends… actually opposite.
I had non religious coworkers that showed me more care and understanding…
Sad but true.
It is sad and way to common! My experience has been about the same especially with all the RIC (Reconciliation Industrial Complex)! I’ve decided RIC actually stands for Revicimizing Innocent Chumps!