“Sure, some of what he stated was false. But was there anything true in his criticism of you?”
-Cheater Supporter
He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
-Genesis 3:1b, NIV
Danger! Danger! Danger!
When a cheater apologist encourages you to dig in the dung of the lies about your character, I want to warn you. That will end badly for you.
Our forebears got into incredible trouble exploring the truth in the lie from the serpent.
We are all better served calling a lie, a lie. The person encouraging a digging through such a lie is encouraging you to meditate on falsehoods. This is NOT godly advice (see Philippians 4:8).
A partial truth is still a lie. You see this in the story of humanity’s fall from grace. The serpent started with the truth about God instructing humanity not to eat from a specific tree. He twisted to say “any tree.”
I believe Satan is the most dangerous when seeding his lies with a little truth. It is the truth that makes the lie “stick.” These are the most dangerous of lies.
This is why I suggest rejecting them as such. Take a “no lie entertaining” stance.
Cheater Supporter:
“Sure, some of what he stated was false. But was there anything true in his criticism of you?”
Divorce Minister replies:
“It saddens me that you would suggest such an ungodly exercise. My Lord teaches me to meditate on what is true, pure, and noble. He lied about me. I do not care to defy God’s counsel and meditate on such lies.”
Lies are rarely completely false, or else they wouldn’t be so potent to deceive. Sometimes the lie is in what is omitted, or insinuated. People who do this kind of digging don’t have to be overtly trying to support the cheater. They often think they are very insightful and diplomatic, when they are actually being self-righteous and heartless. The kind of answer you gave is the only kind of answer that makes any sense to avoid getting dragged even further into the muck. Even then, it’s still likely that the asker of the question will see/describe the victim being evasive, unrepentant, or whatever. Just asking the question that way shows a certain amount of contempt toward the victim.
Unfortunately, twisting the truth and victim blaming will never stop, especially, within the so-called Christian church. SMH!