Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.””
Category: Emotional Affair
Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!”
Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!”
Choose not to enter their warped reality!
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Choose not to enter their warped reality!”
Sometimes the season dictates divorce.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Sometimes choosing divorce is the best of bad options left for a faithful spouse. This is why I cite this wisdom verse. It is allegedly written by the wisest of all humans–bar Jesus–King Solomon. Everything means everything. That includes … Continue reading “Sometimes the season dictates divorce.”
“Dating” while married fosters entitlement
Growing up in evangelical church circles, I heard the common teaching about couples “date nights” as if forever “dating” your spouse should be the norm. I think this teaching is both unwise and unhealthy. Don’t get me wrong: I believe investing in couples time is important. However, calling it “dating” is unwise. As I mentioned … Continue reading ““Dating” while married fosters entitlement”
Entertaining another mate option IS cheating!
When a spouse is entertaining another relationship as a “potential” affair partner, they already have crossed over the line into emotional affair territory. The decision to “forsake all others” was already made publicly in a wedding ceremony. This decision is being betrayed when a spouse starts revisiting that decision in considering other mate options. They … Continue reading “Entertaining another mate option IS cheating!”
PSA: It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair.
Public Service Announcement (PSA): It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair! Someone needs to see this. Cheaters will pull out all stops to make the faithful spouse look like the bad person. Insisting the affair end is a healthy boundary. It is respectful. You are simply refusing to accept ongoing abuse … Continue reading “PSA: It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair.”
What excuse gives a spouse a pass to abuse? None.
I am convinced adultery is always abusive. Always. You cannot cheat on a spouse without abusing their trust minimally. Plus, I have yet to discover a story involving adultery where a period of deception did not take place–however, brief. In addition to that, I believe based on my reading of Scripture that adultery is soul … Continue reading “What excuse gives a spouse a pass to abuse? None.”
Lost respect for Dave Ramsey over his despicable treatment of a faithful spouse!
It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT In an article posted yesterday (1-18-22), Julie Roys exposes a situation that is truly disgusting regarding Dave Ramsey and his organization. Her article is entitled: “Exclusive: Audio Shows Dave … Continue reading “Lost respect for Dave Ramsey over his despicable treatment of a faithful spouse!”