However, this does not mean that they are any less responsible for their own behavior. They still need to do the hard work of finding good help and changing.
They must be broken in some sense–i.e. not functioning as they ought.
How else can you explain a human living a double life and harming himself or herself as every cheater does being one with their spouse?
A whole and healthy person cannot keep up such a double-life. We were not made to work that way.
People who are able to live lying without conscience are generally not considered healthy but disordered.
I have hope for cheaters who choose to face whatever is broken within themselves and work to heal that brokenness.
However, I have zero hope for cheaters who persist on pointing at other people–like the faithful spouse–and circumstances for their sinful behavior.
They say pedophiles often were abused as children themselves. That piece of awful personal history still does not make them less than fully responsible for their own sins and crimes.
The same applies to cheaters. They might have an awful history. But they chose not to face and heal from that history. Instead, they chose the path of sin–lies and infidelity.
They are fully responsible for choosing that path of sin.
My hope is that the cheater awakens before it is too late to get off the path of destruction and instead engages in repentance taking full responsibility for their own choices and actions.