Somethings You Have To Know Yourself

A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout. -Proverbs 11:22, NLT However good you are at surveillance, you will never find a way to monitor the heart. Nor should you. A spouse ought to be able to trust that their partner will honor their vows to forsake all … Continue reading “Somethings You Have To Know Yourself”

Cannot Un-Hear the Awful News

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV Usually, people who have never experienced being lied to and cheated upon for months or even years do not get it! They might think the faithful spouse better off not knowing the truth about the betrayal. But I do … Continue reading “Cannot Un-Hear the Awful News”

Cheating as sin-habit.

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. -I John 3:6, NIV Cheating as a sin-habit When talking about adultery, I suspect most people only think of the illicit sex act. Rarely, I suspect, … Continue reading “Cheating as sin-habit.”

Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?

“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…” -Cheater Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer? Of course, not. Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out … Continue reading “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”

Does telling destroy the marriage? No.

“We were perfectly fine as a couple before she found out I cheated. Now, she is angry with me and is threatening divorce. I blame you for this mess, because you told her!” -Cheater Husband In what alternate serious situation would we accept this sort of blame-shifting reasoning?! The whistleblower who exposes fraud and abuse … Continue reading “Does telling destroy the marriage? No.”

NOT Saying Something Is Actually Sin!

“Do not stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is threatened.” -Leviticus 19:16b, NLT Too many books and articles I see on infidelity tell outsiders to keep the secrets of infidelity to themselves. Cluing in the faithful spouse seems to be treated worse than the actual infidelity offenses themselves. Yet Scripture is clear what we … Continue reading “NOT Saying Something Is Actually Sin!”

Resisting Revenge

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. -Romans 12:19, NIV The struggle is real. All the crummy injustices faithful spouses experience including dealing with months–or even years!–of lies, loss time with kids, a damage reputation, legal … Continue reading “Resisting Revenge”

Saeed Abedini Saga Continues

Saeed Abedini is the pastor released from the Iranian prison and embraced by Franklin Graham. His wife, Naghmeh, fought for his release for years then filed for divorce citing abuse issues in their marriage. Recently, Saeed was in court for violating a restraining order made on Naghmeh’s behalf (see article here). For the skeptics regarding … Continue reading “Saeed Abedini Saga Continues”