Divorce a “mentally ill” cheater?!

“…in sickness and in health….”  -Traditional Marriage Vows “If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT ****DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health provider. This post is NOT medical advice or diagnosis.*** What to do if … Continue reading “Divorce a “mentally ill” cheater?!”

On “Deadwood Friends”

But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” -Luke 22:48, NLT Some “friends” will “kiss” you with words-bespeaking of their love for you-while they further the cheater’s agenda of blame-shifting the infidelity and marriage’s demise upon you. It is confusing enough dealing with the lies and deceptions of a … Continue reading “On “Deadwood Friends””

Cannot Help Themselves

 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Even–maybe especially–when caught red-handed and finally acknowledging their infidelity, cheaters will STILL try to shift the attention onto the faithful spouse’s “deficiencies.” The majority of their confession is light … Continue reading “Cannot Help Themselves”

On Sin and Difficult Circumstances

“What have you done?” asked Samuel. Saul replied, “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord’s favor.’ So … Continue reading “On Sin and Difficult Circumstances”

When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause…

“For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause… Infidelity is not … Continue reading “When a lack of sex (or attention) is treated as the cause…”

More Attention? More Sex?

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. -I Corinthians 7:3, NIV Cheaters like to shift the blame upon faithful spouses after the fact! -A cheating husband might attack his wife by talking about how he would never have cheated if they had had more sex. -A … Continue reading “More Attention? More Sex?”

Cheater-Speak: “Our relationship was toxic.”

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Did I miss something? When I read this verse–part of the Ten Commandments–I don’t see where it says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery unless [you believe] your marriage is a toxic relationship.” I don’t see it because it is NOT there! This is an especially lame cheater excuse or … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Our relationship was toxic.””

Some Healthy and Godly Boundaries

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV Confusion is great dealing with a cheater. Sadly, pastors and other Christian leaders too often do not help faithful spouses through this confusion. They add to it in an attempt to look impartial and “professional.” These are … Continue reading “Some Healthy and Godly Boundaries”

Resurfacing Question: How Long Have You Been Married?

How long have you been married? It is an innocent question. The person asking is usually simply curious. They are not trying to “get you.” Yet it brings up an internal conflict for me: Do I answer as I suppose they are asking about my current marriage? Or do I reveal that I had been … Continue reading “Resurfacing Question: How Long Have You Been Married?”