Testify to Adultery Intolerance!

God says, “If a husband divorces his wife And she goes from him And belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me,” declares the Lord. -Jeremiah 3:1, NASB Do you notice the assumption behind this statement? The assumption is that the … Continue reading “Testify to Adultery Intolerance!”

Pseudo-Christian Babble: YOUR contribution to the relationship breakup.

  “And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery–unless his wife has been unfaithful.” -Matthew 19:9, NLT What did YOU contribute to your marriage’s breakdown?! Years ago, I used to believe this was a reasonable question to ask any divorced individual. After all, we are imperfect creatures. We … Continue reading “Pseudo-Christian Babble: YOUR contribution to the relationship breakup.”

Dear Divorce Minister, Why are Christians so bad at responding to adultery?

Dear Divorce Minister, My D-Day (I’ve found you via Chump Lady) was back in 2001, and much time and healing has happened since my husband left me for his AP. I have changed my career (bank manager to priest in the Church of England), I travel (we had no children), and I write fantasy novels … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, Why are Christians so bad at responding to adultery?”

The marriage is adultery ablaze!

  Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. – I Corinthians 6:18, NLT   When talking about adultery, I would like to use a metaphor. Think of a marriage as a house. The adulterous spouse has … Continue reading “The marriage is adultery ablaze!”

Even God Requires Repentance First!

“If you want to come back, O Israel,     you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia     and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “Even God Requires Repentance First!”

Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!

God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Pastors, do you really care about the healing of infidelity victims? If so, then please preach that the perpetrators need to repent. One of the many things that bothers me about Christians responding to infidelity situations is how they seem unconcern … Continue reading “Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!”

Taking a Side is Sometimes Appropriate! Highpoint Church Fiasco Illustrates.

“It is okay to be sorry that a sin was committed. And at least two people were hurt by the ripple effect of the consequences of that sin. It is  okay to be sorry toward both people, to love both people, and not have to choose a side. … Our responsibility is that we must … Continue reading “Taking a Side is Sometimes Appropriate! Highpoint Church Fiasco Illustrates.”

“Mistake” Minimization

“It was a mistake.” -Cheater Adultery is far more than “a mistake.” The word just makes me cringe internally when I see or hear it used to talk about infidelity. In one sense, the word is accurate. The person did something wrong. A “mistake” highlights that. However, the word “mistake” trivializes what the cheater did. … Continue reading ““Mistake” Minimization”

In defense of men during this #metoo moment

I am a man. I am an ordained evangelical minister. And I am not ashamed of those facts! What troubles me about some reactions to the Andy Savage story is how they assume this is normal behavior of evangelical ministers or even young Christian men. It is not! We are not all predators. When I was … Continue reading “In defense of men during this #metoo moment”

Andy Savage, clergy sexual abuser, loses marriage book contract.

The Ridiculously Good Marriage, a planned book by Memphis-area, megachurch, Pastor Andy Savage, was recently cancelled by Bethany House (link here). This is good news in my opinion. This publishing house made this decision following recent news that Andy Savage sexually assaulted a teenager while he was her youth pastor twenty years ago. I am encouraged to … Continue reading “Andy Savage, clergy sexual abuser, loses marriage book contract.”