Master Manipulation

Test all things; hold fast what is good. -I Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV A master manipulator knows how to take a potential weakness and work it into a strength. They know how to leverage a situation. Cheaters are master manipulators, IMO. The speed at which a cheater can turn a confession of infidelity into a discussion … Continue reading “Master Manipulation”

No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!

An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…. -I Timothy 3:2, NASB Some cheaters have absolutely no shame.  They get caught and retroactively try to make it look like it was and is okay. Maybe they suggest an open marriage? Maybe they suggest a … Continue reading “No, polygamy is NOT a godly option!”

Mailbag: Lost Permission to Divorce Biblically?

Hello! I am SO grateful for your blog, as I am yet another infidelity victim being treated horribly by church leaders. The latest is that they’ve taken the position that I’ve lost my right to divorce my husband, for a variety of reasons. I “took too long” to decide (a year+…after a HORRIBLE case of … Continue reading “Mailbag: Lost Permission to Divorce Biblically?”

Letter Published Calling Tullian Tchividjian To Repentance

Recently, a letter was published calling fallen ex-pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, to repentance. Without going into great detail, Tullian Tchividjian is the disgraced grandson of Rev. Billy Graham who lost his job as a pastor as well as his ministerial credentials due to more than one instance of marital infidelity (some of my posts here, here, and … Continue reading “Letter Published Calling Tullian Tchividjian To Repentance”

Two to Tango? Yet some cannot or will not even dance.

Random Christian: Sure, she cheated on you. But you know, it takes two to tango. DM: That only applies if you have two willing and able dance partners. She clearly is not willing and possibly not even able to “tango” with me. The “It takes two to tango” line is a subtle blame-shift upon faithful … Continue reading “Two to Tango? Yet some cannot or will not even dance.”

Settled in mind and heart

When I was in the heat of my marriage dissolution, I remember constantly being thrown off by the email responses I received from my (now) ex-wife. They would make me particularly upset when she continued to insist on pinning the fault for the marriage ending on me. Looking back now, I can see how out … Continue reading “Settled in mind and heart”

But they ARE crazy! For realz.

But a man who commits adultery has no sense…. -Proverbs 6:32a, NIV A common word of advice in the dating world is not to date a divorced individual who describes their ex as “crazy.”* Maybe you have heard this one? Such bad-mouthing of an ex is treated as a major red flag. The idea is that … Continue reading “But they ARE crazy! For realz.”

On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…

“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating cheating as incidental to the divorce…”

Be Careful!

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! -I Corinthians 10:12, NIV God has placed it upon my heart today to share a caution to faithful spouses. Be careful after making the infidelity discovery! You are emotionally and sexually vulnerable! It is so tempting to go to another man or woman to … Continue reading “Be Careful!”