Ode of Eeyore – Psalm 88

A favorite Psalm of mine is Psalm 88. I called it an “Ode of Eeyore” because this Psalm is dark. And I love that. It creates space for those of us who are experiencing the darkness. We don’t have to put on our “happy faces.” The author of Psalm 88 grants us permission to acknowledge … Continue reading “Ode of Eeyore – Psalm 88”

“I can tell you are still tender and healing.”

“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading ““I can tell you are still tender and healing.””

“You must not have been meeting his needs.”

“You must not have been meeting his needs.” -Cheater Apologist A version of this statement could also be said to men who discovered their cheating wives. It is victim blaming, pure and simple. The speaker often forgets that two people were not getting their “needs” met if one was not. Yet both did not respond … Continue reading ““You must not have been meeting his needs.””

God On Breaking Up Homes Following Adultery

The Idolatry of “Intact” Homes If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV God did not prioritize keeping the marriage together over dealing with the evil of adultery in the Old … Continue reading “God On Breaking Up Homes Following Adultery”

Dear DM, What does restitution look like in my situation?

Dear Divorce Minister, My wife committed adultery 16 years ago. I forgave and renew my vows on tremendously incomplete information. She recently confessed to the entirety of the adultery after we have had 3 wonderful children. I can say with out hesitation I would have not continued in the marriage if I would have known … Continue reading “Dear DM, What does restitution look like in my situation?”

Christian Leaders, “Wilting Daisies” or “Bruised Reeds” cheaters are NOT!

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. – I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Let’s get something straight… A crushed “delicate flower” or a “bruised reed” does not have the energy … Continue reading “Christian Leaders, “Wilting Daisies” or “Bruised Reeds” cheaters are NOT!”

Cheaters Treat Marriage As Disposable

Christian leaders seem to worry that allowing any divorce is to open the flood gates to every divorce. The idea is permitting divorce necessarily means taking a disposable stance towards the covenant of marriage. This is just not so. God does not take marriage lightly, and He is described in the Bible as divorcing Israel: And I saw, when … Continue reading “Cheaters Treat Marriage As Disposable”

Is God always on the side of the marriage?

“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from … Continue reading “Is God always on the side of the marriage?”

“I don’t want to pick sides.” – “Friend”

“I don’t want to pick sides in this,” says a Christian “friend.” A person saying this is communicating to the adultery victim that they think something could justify their victimization. Let’s be clear: They ARE picking a side. It is the side of the adulterous spouse. This is not a godly response to faithful spouses seeking … Continue reading ““I don’t want to pick sides.” – “Friend””