Here’s To The Faithful Spouses!


Many claim to have unfailing love,
    but a faithful person who can find?

-Proverbs 20:6, NIV


Did you catch that? You are rare. It says so in Scripture. God says it. So, it must be so. You possess a very valuable character trait–faithfulness.

And if anyone knows how this character trait is not to be taken for granted, you do.

You did not cheat and commit adultery. No, you kept your promise of fidelity. You are the faithful one.

One of the most precious gifts I kept as my marriage exploded under the adultery-bomb was knowing I walked away with my integrity. I could hold my head up high knowing I remained faithful even if the world and the church assumed otherwise based on my “divorced” label.

The shame of the “divorced” label is not the faithful spouse’s to bear. Remember, God is a divorcee (Jeremiah 3:8). Is there any shame in that? If so, I am in good company and so are you.

As we survivors move forward out of the adulterous ashes, I encourage all to remember. We are the faithful spouses. That is an  identity we own. It is one of honor and virtue. We were faithful even under great extremes. It is a virtue we possess having come through the fire. And it is as valuable as gold.

We are not discarded refuse nor worthless divorcees. Rather we possess a rare and fire-tested virtue extolled by God in Scripture. And that is more than any of our faithless spouses or exes can ever say.

In fact, no one who has not been through such fire can even stand with us and say it as we can:

We are the faithful ones.

Never forget it, faithful spouses.

Never forget it.






*A shout out to Chump Lady for drawing my attention to the power of this identity: “faithful spouses.”


10 thoughts on “Here’s To The Faithful Spouses!”

  1. Thank you for that post DM. I was made to feel so much shame by my STBEX and his family that I was the one that filed or divorce even though I was the one that held on to the vows I made before God in the 13 years of marriage to a serial cheating emotionally abusive and absent husband.

    Thank you for reminding me that there is virtue in been faithful despite the hurt I endured and that I have nothing yo be ashamed of.

  2. Amen. And people figure it out and regardless of who they are, they RESPECT the faithful spouse. It is like a college degree, only better. No one, no matter what, can take it away from you :)!

  3. I read this again today and really needed these encouraging words. The best way to describe my internal battle is:

    My soul is weary, but I still have faith in a future filled with hope.

    Instead of wallowing and letting this drag me down, I have been seeking positive words. I can’t tell you how your positive tone towards those of us trying to move forward with hope for a new life on our terms means to me.

    1. Tiredsigh,

      So glad you have found encouragement in my words! Blessings upon you as rise out of the ashes exchanging them for beauty.

  4. I, too, am the one who filed for divorce…he and his family tried to squash me into a minion…into their warped sense of duty…as they all cheat repeatedly on their spouses…disrespect one another and gather minions to ostracize you in hopes of getting you to conform…I never conformed…I was FAITHFUL..even with blood pouring out of my eyes and nose…even after being left homeless…even after a lot of things…it is one of the best things, I believe, that defines me as me…I BELIEVE fidelity and monogamy are worth everything…I was never perfect…but I was always faithful…and its a defining moment of character for me…most would have told me to leave…but I was hopeful…that he would change and that God would instill in him some sense of propriety…some are just evil…you can’t love evil…better to be divorced in the face of infidelity…I am forgiven…God knows I tried…but He would not want me to forfeit my life to evil…

  5. I needed this today. My STBX has been telling everyone it was a mutual decision. Well yes, after I told you I wouldn’t tolerate your cheating anymore. I resent people thinking we’re divorcing just because we don’t want to be married anymore. I want to tell everyone that HE cheated on me and can’t be trusted. I do feel the societal shame that I couldn’t hold the marriage together even though it was not my fault.

    1. bepositive,

      Glad this was an encouragement. Hold you head up and know who you are: the FAITHFUL SPOUSE. Also, if people are asking, then I think it is totally appropriate to share the facts briefly–i.e. “We are divorcing because my stbx partner would not stop cheating on me.” It states the facts and focuses on your partner’s actions.


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