For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.
-2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV
Repenting of sins committed against us makes no sense!
Yet this is the standard counsel given to faithful spouses. They are told to look at their lives and marriages for their failures that supposedly led to their victimization.
That is NOT how God sees it!
We repent and answer for our own sins. That is what we see very clearly from this verse out of 2 Corinthians. We are not answering for sins committed against us.
With that in mind, I hope you keep this crystal clear vision when dealing with your cheater and their supporters:
This not your mess to fix!
You are not responsible for your cheater’s sins. It is not your job to fix the damage done by said sins. That is the cheater’s.
The cheater needs to repent of his or her lying and adulterous ways. You are not responsible for this repentance.