The woman I thought I married in 2006, and the woman who committed adultery against me in 2012 are not compatible in my mind.
How do you go from an active, committed evangelical leader in college to a woman professing her adulterous relationship as irrelevant to her marriage to me?
In the end, I have to trust the later sinful actions speak louder than the earlier professions of commitment and faith. But that does not necessarily mean the discord goes away.
So, I am willing to extend grace to old mutual friends who struggle similarly with the discord.
I have had a front row seat to the unveiling of the later character. They may only have heard whispers of her existence.
That said, I am not interested in investing my time and emotions in relationships that continue to cling to the first person when they’ve been told about the person revealed through adultery and lies.
Life is too short, and my heart is too precious.
But I since I was shocked and still consider the experience a bit surreal, I can empathize with old mutual friends who feel similarly.
It is truly hard to reconcile the two unless you are willing to accept the former was merely an illusion:
The nice Christian spouse was never really and deeply committed to Christ and His teachings after all.
But admitting you were fooled is difficult to do.