DivorceCare is a great program and with support groups for those who are separated or have experienced divorce. It has a pretty good curriculum with solid Biblical principles. Most of the speakers in the program’s DVDs have experienced divorce, and so, their words are generally seasoned with grace and gentleness. They also have a side program for children of divorce called DivorceCare for Kids. Personally, I found much support and healing by going to a local DivorceCare group.
NON-CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE (At least, she does not claim a faith perspective). Chump Lady is like a street-smart guide to infidelity. Her words are vulgar (she explains why on her blog if you search for it), but her theories are helpful for parsing cheater language and understanding cheater behavior. The website is also an online community for chumps–i.e. cheated-on spouses.
Chump Lady interviewed by Dr. George Simon who is a psychologist and expert on character disordered individuals.
Christian Psychologist with a M.A. from Dallas Theological Seminary in Biblical Studies. He takes a tough approach towards calling out the sin. I especially recommend articles entitled: “Bring Your Marriage Back From The Dead” and “I Don’t Love You Anymore.”
Rejection Exposed: Understand the Root and Fruit of Rejection by Anthony Hulsebus
Excellent book to help deal with spiritual root problems. Has a chapter that turns Scripture into prayers to address root issues. Highly recommend this book! Helped greatly in my healing. Helps to tailor prayers with Scripture to specific spiritual struggles.
The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity: How to Regain Your Sanity After You’ve Been Cheated On by Tracy Schorn
Consider this a streets-smarts guide to infidelity. It is not a Christian perspective per se and is full of vulgar language–author explains why in the beginning. It does give helpful theories of understanding the experience, though. She calls a spade a spade and is very straight-forward about infidelity. Recommended as a book to process the lies and manipulations of cheaters.
What To Do When He Says, I Don’t Love You Anymore by Dr. David Clarke
Excellent Biblical approach to infidelity. I do not necessarily agree with everything it says about situations beyond infidelity. However, I strongly endorse Dr. Clarke’s road map to dealing and healing after adultery is discovered.
Not “Just Friends” by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D.
Very good book that uses solid infidelity research to explode such lies as infidelity is caused by unhappy marriages (“The Prevention Myth” is what Dr. Glass calls this one). If reconciliation is in the future, pastors and faithful spouses need to read this first. It takes a tough line on adultery while also laying out a realistic path forward if the adulterer/adulteress is truly committed to change and dealing with their “justifying” lies.
Where Is God When It Hurts? by Philip Yancey
This book tackles the problem of suffering from a Christian perspective. It is an excellent, Biblical resource that does not fall into the simple answers camp. I found it a very healing read. A shorter and updated version of this material by the same author can be found under the title: The Question That Never Goes Away.
Pain, Perplexity and Promotion: A Prophetic Interpretation of the Book of Job by Bob Sorge
Bog Sorge makes a powerful reading of this perennial Biblical book on suffering. I found it wise and helpful for me as I walked through the confusing time of adultery discovery and divorce.
A Grief Observed by C.S.Lewis
The author of the Narnia Series among other great Christian books writes out his thoughts and feelings surrounding the death of his wife. It is raw and beautiful in its rawness. Initially, he published it under a different name because of that.
“A Roomful of Yearning and Regret” by Wendy Plump
This New York Times article from December 9th, 2010 ought to be required reading for anyone trying to help couples dealing with the trauma of adultery. It is written by someone who has been on both sides of adultery. And it is not necessarily written from a Christian perspective but does reinforce how adultery is not a good choice and has awful consequences for all. Pastor Tim Keller and his wife, Kathy, cite it in their excellent book on Christian marriage entitled The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God.