God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.
– Psalm 7:11, NLT
What if I want him/her to burn in Hell…
for what he/she did to me (and the kids)?
Anger is an appropriate response to evil perpetrated against one. And I think God is understanding of this strong emotional response to the wickedness known as adultery (e.g. Deut. 22:22 and Jer. 3).
However, I do not think staying in this place is wise or healthy.
The anger does subside in time. I can remember a time when my rage towards my former Father-in-law was close to homicidal rage–not that I would act on the feeling. It was just that angering the role he played in destroying his daughter’s marriage to me.
It took a lot of time and practice to let go of that anger.
Practice in reminding myself that I had chosen to forgive or hand him over to God.
I still think what he did was wrong. But I am not consumed by rage towards him anymore. He is God’s concern.
For you, your homicidal rage may be towards your ex or the Other Man/Other Woman. Maybe it’s towards the interfering in-laws? I do not know.
My encouragement to you is to first acknowledge the strong anger is there for a reason–i.e. they actually did something very, very wrong! It is appropriate and understandable that such a violation made or makes you angry.
Don’t act on the rage, though!
Write it out. Talk it out with a trusted friend, therapist, or spiritual leader. Pray it out.
What did he/she did that makes you so angry?
Then you have to make a choice…will I:
A) Hold on to this and allow what they did to me define me turning me bitter
B) Give them and the grievances over to God for Him to handle while not denying I was wronged?
It is okay if your emotions have not caught up to your choice to let God deal with your violator. That is where practice and time are needed. I assure it will come just as it did for me even if it does not feel like it right now.
And cut yourself some slack.