5 You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.
6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 7 Don’t participate in the things these people do.
– Ephesians 5:5-7, NLT
In today’s world of cheap grace, Santa god, and Buddy Jesus, the idea that God is wrathful is not in vogue. Holiness is out of style and so is the wrath that responds to wickedness. The fear of the Lord is forgotten.
God is love as John teaches us (see I John 4:16b). Just in chapter three of Ephesians, Paul writes of the depths of God’s love for us in Christ reminding us to be grounded in such love. Then he reminds his readers of God’s holiness and warns them not to partner with darkness in this above quoted passage.
Adultery certainly qualifies as “sexual immorality.” Notice that the passage speaks about disobedience and how someone still engaged in this lifestyle has no inheritance in God’s kingdom. These are stiff warning from Paul.
Not only is one not to engage in sexual immorality, Paul instructs the Ephesians not to partner with such people. I suggest many ways exist to partner with darkness or the adulterous. Telling lies or actively facilitating adultery is certainly partnering with darkness. Such partnership is not acceptable for God’s people.
Since I encourage interpreting Scripture by Scripture, I see in this letter another and clearer way one can partner with darkness. The answer lies just a few more verses down in the same chapter. Verse eleven tells us how true children of God behave:
We follow God by exposing the evil deeds to the light.
This is another reason I have a problem with pastors and other Christian leaders counseling silence about adultery. It is not Biblical in this matter. The sin needs exposure so that it is not helped along. Silence keeps the evil deeds covered and not exposed.
Keeping people in the dark allows for continued manipulation of others where the adulterous can prey upon the charity of others in shifting blame upon the faithful spouse. This is wicked. And it is doing nothing to help the adulterous spouse avoid the wrath of God for his or her clear disobedience.
God will not be mocked in the end.
Someone persisting in such sexual immorality with inherit nothing in God’s kingdom and perhaps not even eternal life.
Plus, I am concerned for those who have such a distorted view of Christianity where hiding such serious sin is twisted into a thinking such is a virtue. Hiding adultery does not honor God. It is a partnership with darkness. And keeping the sin covered may come with moral culpability for those knowingly keeping the silence as these verses seem to suggest. Hiding sin by silence is out of character for true sons and daughters of the Most High.
Let us not partner with the darkness.
And let us remember we serve a wrathful God who will not be mocked by adulterous disobedience.
I love Ephesians 5. Such clear instructions from our Lord. I wished my husband would have loved me as Christ loves the church. I’m not perfect but worked on being a Proverbs 31 woman everyday and part of being a virtuous woman is demanding light and all things good in our home. Thanks for reminding me of this today. The evil is out of our home now. We are stepping back into the light. I know this for sure in my heart. Then why do I still feel so sad?
Lost dreams are still real losses…sadness is to be expected, Brokenhearted Believer. Just means you are grieving.
I wish my unfaithful wife’s good friend had read this. She enabled a meeting between my wife and her fellow adulterer, lied to me and covered it up later when I suspected and wrote to her asking to talk. Even admonished me for approaching her in a “deceitful way behind my wife’s back”. She is supposedly a devout Christian. Wife and even our Christian counselor say I’m wrong for expecting anything else from a loyal friend,
Untold,
I’d don’t it is wrong for you to expect the truth from another Christian. The reason going to “friends” is necessary is because the unfaithful spouse is cheating and LYING! A true Christian friend would care enough for your wife’s soul to expose the sin. Too bad that “friend” didn’t care enough to be uncomfortable or possibly loose the “friendship” over doing the right thing (in telling you about the adultery).
And shame on the “Christian” counselor for not calling out the “friend” for this breach in Christian conduct. While the “friend” is in an awkward position, it was your unfaithful spouse who put her there through involving her in her adulterous ways. Sad the counselor seems only to see the awkwardness and not the true cause nor the proper Christian response.
Blessings,
DM
So sorry Untold. That’s awful because it is betrayal on top of betrayal and I think it is ok to expect more of your Christian counselor. I had a similar situation with one of my husband’s friend and my counselor said “Let me know when you are ready to confront that friend and ask that he stand against your husband’s sin and I’ll help you find the words.” There is nothing wrong with having high expectations of others. Hugs and prayers to you.
Untold-Admonished you for approaching her in a deceitful way behind your wife’s back? And her setting up your wife on a date behind your back in the first place, and then lying about it after the fact, is what then? If you want answers, going to the people involved is the place to go and she is counted amongst those involved. Duh. Of course the friend is going to be “loyal.” Neither she or your wife think anything is amiss in the least with adultery!
“She said afterward it was to help our marriage, to keep her from building resentment (i.e. from not getting her way).” Hahaha oh the idiotic logic of cheaters. Yes, it was indeed just her throwing a fit like a toddler b/c she didn’t get her way to unfettered extramarital sex. Poor her. So she’s of the lot that run behind the HuffPo articles that read something like “how an affair saved my marriage.” Yea, and each of those articles can be put through the “BS Translator,” as Chump Lady refers to it, and completely dismantled. “Yes! My marriage was saved by Chlamydia! And no matter about that lost 401K spent on all the dates with the AP(s) and that negative paternity test on our child that I thought was mine” said no successful marriage ever.
If she really wants to not be resentful of not being allowed to go sleep around with other men while she’s married then the answer is divorce. Only then will she get the unfettered access to multiple sex partners that she desires as that horrible constraint of marriage will no longer be upon her. I think your fear is right, the writing is on the wall, sadly.
Thank you both for the kind words. Even though I told her it would be a painful trigger for me, my wife chose to visit this enabling girlfriend during our Christmas trip to her family hometown. She said afterward it was to help our marriage, to keep her from building resentment (i.e. from not getting her way). It was a disappointing setback to me in our reconciliation attempt. I fear the writing is on the wall.
Untold,
You wrote, “She said afterward it was to help our marriage, to keep her from building resentment (i.e. from not getting her way).”
What a load of lies! Was she getting her way when committing adultery? Does visiting someone who is clearly NOT a friend of the marriage (by enabling said adultery) really help a marriage? I think not. She might believe these lies herself, but that does not make them any less than lies. It does not sound like she is really serious about rebuilding the marriage she obliterated through her sin. Someone who is humble realizes that they do not keep twisting the knife into the partner whose soul she just raped! Unbelievable arrogance!!! If she was really interested in rebuilding what she destroyed, it would start by exercising some empathy and sympathy for you, Untold. This is just calloused “I will do whatever I want!” arrogance. And it sounds like she’s blaming you for her adultery (with the “not getting her way” shtick). That’s not repentance.
Sorry, Untold. No one deserves to be treated with such contempt. I hope you are able to see the lies and not buy them moving forward. Plus, I hope you find someone who is courageous and godly enough to help you call your wife out on such deceit (like BrokenHearted Believer’s counselor).
Hugs,
DM
She obviously only cares about herself. Why is she resentful? Because you were faithful? Ridiculous! I’m so sorry- I know how painful this is. Like a continuous punch in the gut. Dr. David Clarke’s book that is recommended by DM on this site describes true repentance and reconciliation. It is very eye opening. It sounds like your wife has narcissistic tendencies like most adulterers do. Be careful with your heart. You deserve kindness, clarity, righteousness and godly friends who support you.