Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Silence IS sin!
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “Silence IS sin!”
“Telling” to manipulate
“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”
Choosing a pastor
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Choosing a pastor”
On Temporary Discomfort
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. -2 Corinthians 4:17, NIV Weight training in equipment has provided a life lesson: Pressing into the discomfort leads to joy afterwards! When you have over 700lbs/317kg hanging over you, pressure starts building in the head with … Continue reading “On Temporary Discomfort”
Yes, trusting God is worth it!
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. -Psalm 68:5-6, NIV Our God is someone who cares for the isolated and imprisoned. What I love about the Psalms is how … Continue reading “Yes, trusting God is worth it!”
All trust torched
“You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.” -Ezekiel 34:4, NLT What is more harsh or cruel than to blame–i.e. condemn–a … Continue reading “All trust torched”
New attention to looks!
New attention to their appearance A telltale sign of cheating is a new found focus on one’s appearance. This might manifest via going on a diet, increased exercise routine, or changing hair colors and style. In and of itself, this does not equate to cheating. However, the motive behind these changes is worth considering. I … Continue reading “New attention to looks!”
Boy, the stress!
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Boy, the stress!”
No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!
“I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.” -I Corinthians 5:11, NLT One of the many pains associated with discovering … Continue reading “No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!”