Category: Trauma of adultery

“Saved Marriages”

When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical.  Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading ““Saved Marriages””

Did God “fail” as the leader and head of Israel?

She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “Did God “fail” as the leader and head of Israel?”

Darkness tests our faith in the Light

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, NIV When our worlds are blown up and we feel like all is darkness, we are faced with a choice: Do I believe the Light … Continue reading “Darkness tests our faith in the Light”

“Exit Affair” nonsense

“We both know our marriage was in trouble for years. The affair wasn’t really the issue. It was just an exit affair.” -Cheater I hate how people minimize the damage of adultery by labeling some affairs: “exit affairs.” Does it make it less of a sin in God’s eyes if it was an “exit affair?” … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” nonsense”

Cheaters and their God-sized problem

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “Cheaters and their God-sized problem”

Most Reasonable of Expectations

“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “Most Reasonable of Expectations”

Assigning blame for the divorce, why bother?

“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Assigning blame for the divorce, why bother?”

Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!

“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT I am not for bringing back the death penalty for adultery. Ok?! The point of quoting this verse is to expose the absurdity of blaming faithful spouses for … Continue reading “Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!”

Awful book published by Focus on the Family(TM) on infidelity

How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage after Infidelity by Tina Konkin I was shocked and saddened by the recent publication of this book (July 9, 2019) by a source that helped me during my ordeal with an unfaithful spouse. The book description is so awful; I have no plans to buy the … Continue reading “Awful book published by Focus on the Family(TM) on infidelity”