Did you ever feel like the big, bad parent with your cheater? I think sometimes some engage in cheating behavior as a way to try and resolve family issues (non-therapist speaking here). They did not feel safe to do that with their mother or father. So, the faithful spouse gets all their rebellion in its … Continue reading “Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Learning to trust yourself, again.
How could I have missed that?! I do not know if you can relate to asking this question of yourself. However, I think the fractured relationship with oneself is a relationship almost always needing attention. Part of the devastation of discovering a cheating spouse is discovering the deception was ongoing for a long period of time, … Continue reading “Learning to trust yourself, again.”
Divorcing a personality disordered cheater
What do you do if your cheater is narcissist and committed making the divorce full of drama? I think it goes back to remembering what you control: YOU. This means you can choose whether to take their disordered bait or to let the circus go on without you. The best response sometimes is no response … Continue reading “Divorcing a personality disordered cheater”
Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), sometimes the iceberg is a huge one. You may only know a very little of what the cheater actually did. That was enough to sink the marriage. Sometimes, I believe, God spares us the pain of learning all the cheating details. He … Continue reading “Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!”
You were chosen, wanted.
“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” -John 15:15b-16a, NLT I think one of the most endearing part of owning a dog (or parrot, in my case) is how they demonstrate how much they choose and want you! In this, they are … Continue reading “You were chosen, wanted.”
Cheater Contempt
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”
The Wicked Prospering
In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless! -Ecclesiastes 8:14b, NLT These words seem like they were written today and not as they were–i.e. thousands of years earlier! I bet many here can relate to … Continue reading “The Wicked Prospering”
Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!
One day he [the serpent] asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” Genesis 3:1b, NLT Partial truth lies are the most dangerous. We see the example of this here in the story of how humans sinned and fell from grace. The … Continue reading “Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!”
Trust God for Justice
He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered.He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. -I Peter 2:23, NLT The secret to dealing with injustice is remembering a higher court exists and we know its Judge is good. Faith in this Judge allows us to let … Continue reading “Trust God for Justice”
Religious cheaters are the worst!
“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” -I John 4:20, NLT Religious cheaters are the worst. It is bad enough dealing with a cheater. A religious cheater … Continue reading “Religious cheaters are the worst!”