Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may … Continue reading “Comfort Affairs And Pastor Tullian Tchividjian’s Tragic Fall”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Mailbag: Was this the persecution that GOD was calling me to endure?
Sheila wrote (for original post/comment thread see here): My estranged husband has been unfaithful to me from the time we met until now. I suspected all of that time but didn’t have any hard evidence to prove it long ago. When I went to the church about it I was told to stop judging him … Continue reading “Mailbag: Was this the persecution that GOD was calling me to endure?”
You Will Never Hear Jesus Say…
You will never hear Jesus say to an adultery/infidelity survivor… 1. “You do realize that you deserved this, right?!” Truth: No one deserves to be cheated on. God demands everyone honor the marriage bed and keep it undefiled (see Hebrews 13:4). And God consistently condemns adultery including it as prohibited explicitly in the Ten Commandments (e.g. Exodus … Continue reading “You Will Never Hear Jesus Say…”
Remember Your “Cistern Story”
So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing—and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it. – Genesis 37:23-24, NIV What’s your “Cistern Story?” Can you think of a time when your world was … Continue reading “Remember Your “Cistern Story””
Stand Firm
The Lord is pleased with good people, but condemns those who plan evil. Wickedness does not give security, but righteous people stand firm. -Proverbs 12:2-3, GNT A regret? Maybe. I remember confronting my ex-wife one Sunday afternoon following church. It was an encounter that is forever burned into my memory. Vividly, I remember how she … Continue reading “Stand Firm”
“We were already divorced in our hearts.”
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine.Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. – 2 Timothy 4:3, NIV Another Common Demonic Lie: “You know that we were already divorced in … Continue reading ““We were already divorced in our hearts.””
More Bad Advice
“Just let her know you are there waiting. Hold the space for the marriage.” – Pastor God did not wait forever for Israel. We see that in Jeremiah 3:8. God accepted Israel’s decisions to choose against the covenant by pursuing adulterous relationships. This is part of the reason I find the advice above unhelpful. It … Continue reading “More Bad Advice”
Necessary But NOT Sufficient
The pastoral impulse to “save” marriages is strong. It is flattering and exhilirating to be a part of a resurrection story where a marriage comes back from its adulterous death. I get it. Who really wants to be the divorce attorney’s pastoral equivalent encouraging only marriage funerals? I don’t. I love miracle stories and would love to be … Continue reading “Necessary But NOT Sufficient”
Two Pastors “Talk” About DM’s Postings on TVC Scandal
Bruce wrote in response to a post (click here), David, I have read most, if not all, of your articles regarding the Village Church situation, browsed many of the links you shared, including the gut-wrenching one in this article of other similar stories. I also listened to Pastor Matt’s sermon on May 31 as I … Continue reading “Two Pastors “Talk” About DM’s Postings on TVC Scandal”
Sometimes You Have To Choose
Pastors, Someday You Will Have To Choose In Your Counsel Between Enabling Adultery or Encouraging Divorce. Is Your Theology Ready For That? I write this as I reflect upon the trainwreck that is The Village Church pastoral care. Here’s a post to some rather hair-raising stories of spiritual abuse (click here). My hope is that … Continue reading “Sometimes You Have To Choose”