Cheaters and “Toxic Shame”

Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:31-32, NIV How does the “toxic shame” excuse work? It is actually … Continue reading “Cheaters and “Toxic Shame””

Even Jesus accepted the fact of rejection

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me.” -Matthew 23:37, NLT Jesus wanted to see the Jewish people turn to him. We see this in this … Continue reading “Even Jesus accepted the fact of rejection”

Keeping you stuck through denial

How many were deceived for a longer period of time because your cheater explicitly denied what he or she was doing? “I would never cheat on you.”  “You know me better than that. There isn’t another man [woman] involved.” “We need to focus on your problems. Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t cheat on you.” … Continue reading “Keeping you stuck through denial”

Those “friends” are not your friends!

If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both must die. Purge that evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, The Message (emphasis mine) Those “friends” One of the most difficult lessons I learned from discovering my first wife’s adultery and going through divorce is that it is okay–in fact, good–to have deal-breakers in friendships. … Continue reading “Those “friends” are not your friends!”

NOT adultery, Clergy Sexual Abuse! Pastor accused of sexually abusing 16 year old.

An Indiana woman confronted her pastor over an inappropriate sexual relationship he had with her over two decades ago (story here). Some news outlets have runned the story as an affair or adultery* as the pastor initially admitted. However, that is a gross mischaracterization of the relationship. It obscures a very troubling and chilling aspect … Continue reading “NOT adultery, Clergy Sexual Abuse! Pastor accused of sexually abusing 16 year old.”

Dangerous Lie: Bad marriages cause infidelity.

  “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person….” -Matthew 15:19-20a, NIV Bad marriages cause infidelity = Lie! When Jesus talks here about sexual immorality and adultery, I do not see any long explanation about the sad state of the culture around … Continue reading “Dangerous Lie: Bad marriages cause infidelity.”

If verifying the affairs(s) are over isn’t first priority…

When a Christian counselor or pastor chooses to treat the ending of the affair as a secondary issue, you can be assured they are not equipped to deal with the situation in a godly matter. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the … Continue reading “If verifying the affairs(s) are over isn’t first priority…”

Lying lifestyle spiritual problem for cheaters

19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. -John 3:19-20, KJV I have a theory about why some cheaters refuse to … Continue reading “Lying lifestyle spiritual problem for cheaters”