Category: Trauma of adultery

You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!

You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!”

Never really chosen

Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “Never really chosen”

Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses

  After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses”

Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage”

Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter … Continue reading “Stupid theory: “Starter Marriage””

Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Eternal souls, NOT eternal marriages!”

The deliberateness of cheating

People downplay the deliberateness of cheating. All sorts of language is employed to minimize what is truly something very clearly chosen by the cheater… again and again. They might call it “a mistake,” “a cry for help,” or “one night stand.” All of this is minimizing the choices that led to the infidelity plus the sinful … Continue reading “The deliberateness of cheating”

Lying easily reveals true father

For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does…. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. -John 8:44a,c, NLT When you find someone who lies with ease, you are finding someone who … Continue reading “Lying easily reveals true father”

All form, no substance.

…having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. -2 Timothy 3:5, NIV Nothing is truly new as far as human behavior is concerned. The Bible warned us about people who look outwardly like good “Christians” but lack the substance of being as such. In fact, the Bible … Continue reading “All form, no substance.”

“You just weren’t right for each other,” says the Monday-Morning Quarterback.

“You just weren’t right for each other.” -Christian (giving a pass to the cheater) I find this sort of Monday morning quarterbacking annoying. It is obvious that a cheater and faithful spouse have different values based on their actions. That alone says that they are not compatible. If we knew our spouse was going to … Continue reading ““You just weren’t right for each other,” says the Monday-Morning Quarterback.”