“Let Me Show You the Way” is an old but favorite song from Michael W. Smith. He really captures the heart of true friendship. This song by MWS speaks to what I believe is a human longing. It is a longing for a good friend who loves at a deep, heart-level. These are the friends … Continue reading “Suffer with you”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Communication issues? Really?!
“Sounds like you all need to learn how to better communicate,” says clueless pastor to Cheater and Faithful Spouse. This is such a pathetic cop out to the real problems a couple faces when infidelity has occurred. The problems are much deeper than “communication issues.” Adultery is sin. So, it is a sin, not a … Continue reading “Communication issues? Really?!”
Commanded to side with the abused
Look on victims of abuse as if what happened to them had happened to you. -Hebrews 13:4b, MSG Adultery is abuse. The Bible is clear that when we have sex with another that we become one with them. That means affair partners are becoming one with the faithful spouse as well. It is a deep, … Continue reading “Commanded to side with the abused”
Scrambling Cheater: How’d you find out?
“How’d you find out?” asks incredulous, busted Cheater. When a Cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant. Notice this question isn’t a denial of the behavior. Asking it is a confirmation of sorts. The arrogant Cheater is flabbergasted that … Continue reading “Scrambling Cheater: How’d you find out?”
Waste of time
“But now bring charges against Israel—your mother— for she is no longer my wife, and I am no longer her husband. Tell her to remove the prostitute’s makeup from her face and the clothing that exposes her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NLT Staying with a cheater is often a waste of time. Cheaters often do not … Continue reading “Waste of time”
Leverage?! Really?!
The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Leverage?! Really?!”
Grief lingers
Grief lingers on long after forgiveness has put anger to bed. This is my experience now years removed from my divorce from a cheater. The anger is long gone. Yet I find myself feeling sad as I think of what was lost, tragically. I say tragically as it never had to happen. Yet God allows … Continue reading “Grief lingers”
PSA: No. They did NOT “have to” cheat on you!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): No. They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies. The cheater did not have to go … Continue reading “PSA: No. They did NOT “have to” cheat on you!”
Toying With Faithful Spouses
Some Cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. Maybe they understand the faithful spouse would do anything to … Continue reading “Toying With Faithful Spouses”
I care about you but…
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading “I care about you but…”