Public Service Announcement (PSA): It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair! Someone needs to see this. Cheaters will pull out all stops to make the faithful spouse look like the bad person. Insisting the affair end is a healthy boundary. It is respectful. You are simply refusing to accept ongoing abuse … Continue reading “PSA: Insisting affair ends is NOT abuse!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
An excuse to abuse? No, none.
I am convinced adultery is always abusive. Always. You cannot cheat on a spouse without abusing their trust minimally. Plus, I have yet to discover a story involving adultery where a period of deception did not take place–however, brief. In addition to that, I believe based on my reading of Scripture that adultery is soul … Continue reading “An excuse to abuse? No, none.”
Cheater-speak: “I’m a good Christian.”
Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is. -I John 3:6, NLT “I’m a good Christian,” declares deceived Cheater. Some might make this statement to seek validation from you or others. They are saying it as a test … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I’m a good Christian.””
Cheater-Speak: “I feel like God is calling me to….”
2 And he said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” Genesis 22:2, KJV Cheaters are engaging in self-deception when they decide God is calling … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I feel like God is calling me to….””
Pro-Tip: Do not engage with “deserving it” fools
A sage trying to work things out with a fool gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble. -Proverbs 29:9, THE MESSAGE Arguing Over Why You “Deserved It” This is a wasted argument. It is like talking with someone with your face still bleeding and them asking you what you did to deserve having your … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do not engage with “deserving it” fools”
“Exit Affair” Minimizing Label
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NKJV Does it make it any less sinful to cheat if the marriage is troubled? The correct answer to this is “No.” Adultery is adultery. Sin is sin. Circumstances around the sin do not matter as far as determining if the behavior is sin or not. I see … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” Minimizing Label”
“Talking about that triggers my toxic shame.”
“Talking about that triggers my toxic shame. So, let’s talk about something else,” says Cheater. Anguish over the awful things they did may very well be real. And they need to go through it to heal the matter, NOT avoid it. Honestly, Cheaters talking about toxic shame are often using it as excuse to avoid … Continue reading ““Talking about that triggers my toxic shame.””
Actions Over Words
They say they’re sorry…. …but refuse to cut off contact with their affair partner. I am sorry to tell you that they are NOT truly sorry. Their actions betray the truth. They are sorry that they were caught! They say they want an open and honest relationship… …yet they continue to lie to you and … Continue reading “Actions Over Words”
“You MUST have known!”
“You MUST have known about her cheating,” says anxious outsider. “No way you didn’t have an idea that she was cheating,” says another anxious outsider. Whether or not you had suspicions (or even knew of the cheating) is not the same as giving them permission to cheat. Let’s be honest: Anxious people saying such things … Continue reading ““You MUST have known!””
Wait to date
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “Wait to date”