She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “God did not fail as the head of the marriage!”
Category: Cheating
Regarding boasts of “saved marriages”
When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Regarding boasts of “saved marriages””
Will you have faith in the coming Light?
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, NIV When our worlds are blown up and we feel like all is darkness, we are faced with a choice: Do I believe the Light … Continue reading “Will you have faith in the coming Light?”
“Exit Affair” Minimization
“We both know our marriage was in trouble for years. The affair wasn’t really the issue. It was just an exit affair.” -Cheater I hate how people minimize the damage of adultery by labeling some affairs: “exit affairs.” Does it make it less of a sin in God’s eyes if it was an “exit affair?” … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” Minimization”
God-sized Cheater Problem
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “God-sized Cheater Problem”
Counts as cheating?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:27-28, NIV “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew … Continue reading “Counts as cheating?”
Choosing battles and bridges to burn
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV Not every battle is worth fighting with a disordered individual. Not every bridge is worth maintaining. Some battles are best left alone. Some bridges are best burned. There is a season for everything. Many of us are not inclined to fight. … Continue reading “Choosing battles and bridges to burn”
A most reasonable expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “A most reasonable expectation”
Funny how so many of us didn’t cheat!
Cheater apologists like to focus on the marriage conditions to let the cheater off the hook. The thing is that those conditions were endured by TWO people. However, only one of those two cheated. Same conditions–if the true cause–out to produce same outcomes. But they do not. It is not like we did not have … Continue reading “Funny how so many of us didn’t cheat!”
“Have you rebuked her?”
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading ““Have you rebuked her?””