Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “Unhelpful price for Christian “support””
Category: Cheating
No seductive lamb in that story!
4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come … Continue reading “No seductive lamb in that story!”
Affairs are like chocolate chip cookies
A few months back, I watched a video where the commentator talked about cheating and likened it to cake. I am riffing off that commentary today. Affairs are like walking into the kitchen to find your Cheater holding two chocolate chip cookies…. You say, “You know that you aren’t supposed to be eating chocolate chip … Continue reading “Affairs are like chocolate chip cookies”
Dear DM, What about porn use?
Dear DM, It was a Godsend to come across your blog after as the evangelical Christian community’s biased view of divorce versus adultery is so prevalent, harsh, and unBiblical. Anyway, my current personal situation with marital infidelity is primarily related to decades of unrepentant porn use by my husband that has escalated over the years … Continue reading “Dear DM, What about porn use?”
Time for “new thing”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Time for “new thing””
Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.”
“We don’t have any money,” says Cheater. Then she spends on expensive dining out and travel with her paramour. It was never about the lack of money. The point about saying that you are without money is that they are uninterested in spending money on you and your needs. Their desires and wishes are worth … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.””
Not the role of a spouse
Free Marriage Advice: If you are looking to your spouse to prove that you are lovable, you are looking to the wrong person. When we look to humans to fill a God-shaped hole, we will always be disappointed. Humans were never intended to “fix” us. Only God can satisfy the deepest longings in our souls. … Continue reading “Not the role of a spouse”
Do not settle for being part of their “harem”
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Some Cheaters would love to stay on “friendly” terms even after divorce. Of course, this “friendly” terms offer does not include them owning their behavior or apologizing … Continue reading “Do not settle for being part of their “harem””
I believe God can raise the dead, but…
I believe God can and does raise the dead, but… …I still do funerals. This is my stance on marriages ravaged by infidelity. I believe some can be resurrected; however, that is a miracle. It is about as common as a funeral ending in a resurrection today. That is to say, not common. The natural … Continue reading “I believe God can raise the dead, but…”
Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources
While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources”