Category: Demons and Spiritual Warfare

Let go of what you don’t control.

25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? -Luke 12:25-26, NIV Sometimes, I find myself trying to control something outside of my control. Usually, this takes the form of worrying. I am pretty practiced at tormenting … Continue reading “Let go of what you don’t control.”

Would you say such a thing to your own best friend?

Would you say the same thing (you just thought about yourself) out loud about a really good friend? We, faithful spouses, can be our worst enemies. Instead of rejection the condemnation and shame, we heap it upon ourselves. This needs to stop.   There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ … Continue reading “Would you say such a thing to your own best friend?”

Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church

Hi, I’m trying to heal from spiritual abuse, and I came across your blog. I have a few questions about things I’m wondering about. If you have time to answer them, it would be helpful to me. Firstly, I’m so sorry for what you went through at Mars Hill, with your in-laws and ex-wife. The … Continue reading “Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church”

Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?”

And he [God] said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” -Genesis 22:2, KJV “Maybe God is asking me to sacrifice my marriage like … Continue reading “Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?””

Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!

***Marriage is not a happy-making contract!*** The seemingly accepted “wisdom” on dealing with infidelity–especially emotional affairs–is to look to the marriage relationship for what was “missing.” In other words, why was the cheater unhappy?  Besides being predicated on a sociologically proven false premise–i.e. cheaters only cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages (see Dr. … Continue reading “Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!”

Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest”

“I have to be open and honest.” -Cheater This is a manipulation game for the unaware. A cheater seeking “openness” from a faithful spouse is really asking for them to show all their cards while the cheater holds their own close to the chest. It is a plea for one-sided disclosure. Openness is not the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest””

Cheaters claiming the “toxic shame” excuse

Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:31-32, NIV How does the “toxic shame” excuse work? It is actually … Continue reading “Cheaters claiming the “toxic shame” excuse”

You are wanted.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. -Ephesians 1:4, NLT When going through a divorce–especially against one’s will and/or with infidelity involved–the lies of rejection and shame are almost tangible. This is a time to hone in on the … Continue reading “You are wanted.”

Deception by denial

How many were deceived for a longer period of time because your cheater explicitly denied what he or she was doing? “I would never cheat on you.”  “You know me better than that. There isn’t another man [woman] involved.” “We need to focus on your problems. Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t cheat on you.” … Continue reading “Deception by denial”