Got to love those “you are doing the ‘Christian’ thing wrong” lectures from the naive Christian leaders or cheater apologists! Right?! These lectures are really simply another way people blame faithful spouses for their marriages imploding and–sometimes–even for the cheating. It is disgusting. They might take the form of blaming you for not “forgiving” well. … Continue reading “Nothing like THOSE “you are doing the Christian thing wrong” lectures…”
Category: Emotional Affair
Religious cheaters want both!
You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. -Malachi 2:14, NLT Religious cheaters are not satisfied with simply cheating. … Continue reading “Religious cheaters want both!”
Cheater-Speak: “I wasn’t trying. It just happened.”
“I wasn’t trying to cheat on you. It just sort of ‘happened.’” -Cheater A cheater speaking like this is an unrepentant cheater. How do I know? Well, repentance starts with the honesty of owning one’s own choices and behavior. The cheater speaking like this is not being honest on those fronts. Adultery is just something that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I wasn’t trying. It just happened.””
Beware of power struggles!
But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.” -Matthew 20:25, NLT “You will just keep that [her cheating] over her head forever [if she stayed married to you].” -Cheater apologist Some people view all relationships … Continue reading “Beware of power struggles!”
Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!
Did you ever feel like the big, bad parent with your cheater? I think sometimes some engage in cheating behavior as a way to try and resolve family issues (non-therapist speaking here). They did not feel safe to do that with their mother or father. So, the faithful spouse gets all their rebellion in its … Continue reading “Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!”
Divorcing a personality disordered cheater
What do you do if your cheater is narcissist and committed making the divorce full of drama? I think it goes back to remembering what you control: YOU. This means you can choose whether to take their disordered bait or to let the circus go on without you. The best response sometimes is no response … Continue reading “Divorcing a personality disordered cheater”
Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), sometimes the iceberg is a huge one. You may only know a very little of what the cheater actually did. That was enough to sink the marriage. Sometimes, I believe, God spares us the pain of learning all the cheating details. He … Continue reading “Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!”
You were chosen, wanted.
“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” -John 15:15b-16a, NLT I think one of the most endearing part of owning a dog (or parrot, in my case) is how they demonstrate how much they choose and want you! In this, they are … Continue reading “You were chosen, wanted.”
Cheater Contempt
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”
Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!
One day he [the serpent] asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” Genesis 3:1b, NLT Partial truth lies are the most dangerous. We see the example of this here in the story of how humans sinned and fell from grace. The … Continue reading “Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!”