19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. -John 3:19-20, KJV I have a theory about why some cheaters refuse to … Continue reading “Cannot admit it to themselves even!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Let the cheater leave!
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. -I Corinthians 7:15, KJV Let the cheater leave! If a cheater is hell-bent on denying Christ by their actions, let them. This is on them. I see this … Continue reading “Let the cheater leave!”
Yes, that happened. No, it is NOT your fault.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “Yes, it happened. She cheated on you. And yes, you didn’t deserve it. It’s not your fault. Not at all.” You really want to help a faithful spouse. These … Continue reading “Yes, that happened. No, it is NOT your fault.”
Quote from expert on sexual abuse
“The perpetrator must say the crime out loud; acknowledge how his actions have impacted his victim; empathize with her; feel profound remorse; and do ‘extensive work’ to understand what made him commit the crime.” -Eve Ensler on what a real apology is regarding sexual abuse Want to know if a cheater is truly sincere in … Continue reading “Quote from expert on sexual abuse”
Faithful Spouses, let those cheaters be angry.
It is not your job to manage your spouse’s emotions. We must manage our own. God will call us to account for how we act, which is another way of saying how we manage our emotions (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). While I encourage you to allow your cheater to be upset, I want to be … Continue reading “Faithful Spouses, let those cheaters be angry.”
Brain-Blender: Cheater Marriage “History”
Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow. -Proverbs 25:18, NLT One of the many things that baffles me about the accepted Christian “wisdom” on healing marriages ravaged by adultery is how often pastors and counselors seem to … Continue reading “Brain-Blender: Cheater Marriage “History””
The gift of a heartbreak
The gift of a heartbreak. Having one’s heart broken by a cheater is not fun. It hurts A LOT!! Yet, a gift is present even in that pain: That gift is a reminder that you HAVE a heart! You attached. That is a good thing. People who do not attach to their partners are … Continue reading “The gift of a heartbreak”
No matter what “they” say…
No matter what “they” say… …the cheating is NOT your fault, not even partially! This is the truth. We are not responsible for someone else’s sins. Cheating and lying are certainly sins. But they are not our own. The lying cheater must make an account for them one day–see 2 Corinthians 5:10–not us, the faithful … Continue reading “No matter what “they” say…”
Gratitude (or lack thereof) is very telling!
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Gratitude (or lack thereof) is very telling!”
Refuse to Ride
To heal, we have to acknowledge the truth. The sad thing is our cheater may never actually do this. They might engage you in an endless battle over getting you to take responsibility for their abuse of you. That argument is one crazy ride. Refuse to take the bait. While helpful, you do not have … Continue reading “Refuse to Ride”