When a cheater is told “No,” they will likely get angry. They may even engage in a toddler tantrum. That is about their maturity level after all. An important lesson for faithful spouses to learn is how we are not responsible for how our cheater feels. We are responsible for our own emotions and actions … Continue reading “Tantrums and cheater unhappiness”
Category: Emotional Affair
Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!”
“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.’” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV “Don’t throw away your marriage over this,” the well-meaning pastor tells the sobbing faithful spouse upon discovery of the adulterous double life of their spouse. He misses … Continue reading “Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!””
Rejection happened to Jesus, too!
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! -Matthew 23:37, KJV What did Jesus do that “made” Jerusalem reject him? Nothing. The point of this is to highlight … Continue reading “Rejection happened to Jesus, too!”
Is remarriage after divorce adultery?
Comment: Thank you for your blog – it has been so encouraging to me as a Christian walking through the pain of what appears to be an impending divorce following my unrepentant husband’s adultery. I was wondering what the Bible suggests about remarriage in such cases (I have been taught the traditional viewpoint that any … Continue reading “Is remarriage after divorce adultery?”
Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:6a, NIV The cheater approaching the affair as “self-care” or something “finally, for ME!” is self-deceived. You cannot sin against the marriage without also sinning against yourself. This is what the Judeo-Christian concept of marriage teaches us. The marriage partners are ONE. An affair certainly is … Continue reading “Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.”
An adultery victim AND so much more!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “An adultery victim AND so much more!”
A stupid thing Christians say: “But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.”
“Sure, she had an affair. But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.” -A Stupid Thing Christians Say I have heard or read a version of this statement more than once. It seems like a common mindset some have–even pastors–towards faithful spouses. It is a subtle blame-shift (or not so subtle). For … Continue reading “A stupid thing Christians say: “But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.””
Cheater: “The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….”
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“The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….” -Cheater What this really means is the cheating is irrelevant to the cheater narrative where they are the victim and the faithful spouse is the “aggressor.” This is like a shooter telling the police not to focus on the fact of him stabbing the victim … Continue reading “Cheater: “The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….””
“Well, you MUST HAVE known.”
“Well, you MUST HAVE known he was cheating on you.” -Christian “friend” This sort of response to infidelity discovery is odd to me. Whether we had an idea or not, that does not change the wrongness of the cheater committing adultery and lying about it. Does the embezzler get a pass if his victim has … Continue reading ““Well, you MUST HAVE known.””
Death leading to new life
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. -John 12:24, NKJV Death is not pleasant. I do not care how prepared one is. We were not made to die; rather, we were made to live … Continue reading “Death leading to new life”