Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV When an adulterous spouse feigns ignorance or confusion over the ending of their marriage, it is a ploy to avoid taking responsibility. This isn’t rocket science, folks! God does not command the ending of a marriage over adultery in the Old Testament to signal such sin is … Continue reading ““Thou shalt not commit adultery” is far from unclear, folks!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!
Cheaters sometimes claim they were free to cheat because “the marriage was over.” Some even say this even though they were attending couple’s counseling with a therapist and/or pastor. The faithful spouse was kept in the dark during this time, obviously. Public Service Announcement: Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over! … Continue reading “Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!”
Gaining peace
…”I said about them, ‘They wander in their hearts just like they do with their feet, and they refuse to learn my ways.’My heart grieved over them so I decreed: ‘They will never enter into the calming rest of my Spirit!’ ” -Hebrews 3:10b-11, TPT While it might not feel like it initially, divorcing a cheater can lead … Continue reading “Gaining peace”
“I’m sorry. That is not what I believe happened.”
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading ““I’m sorry. That is not what I believe happened.””
Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church
Hi, I’m trying to heal from spiritual abuse, and I came across your blog. I have a few questions about things I’m wondering about. If you have time to answer them, it would be helpful to me. Firstly, I’m so sorry for what you went through at Mars Hill, with your in-laws and ex-wife. The … Continue reading “Mailbag: Spiritual Abuse at Driscoll-esque Church”
Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am separated from my wife. She left me and our boys, age 12, on November 2nd 2018. She said she was stressed dealing with one of our sons who has ADHD and ODD. At first, it was a 30 day separation and I was a good dad, husband, provider, etc. She … Continue reading “Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.”
Be cautious in sharing with (ex) in-laws!
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NIV I made an honest mistake when my marriage started to unravel: My mistake was to open and share my heart to the father of my (now) ex-wife. It was an honest mistake in that I … Continue reading “Be cautious in sharing with (ex) in-laws!”
Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?”
And he [God] said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” -Genesis 22:2, KJV “Maybe God is asking me to sacrifice my marriage like … Continue reading “Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?””
Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!
***Marriage is not a happy-making contract!*** The seemingly accepted “wisdom” on dealing with infidelity–especially emotional affairs–is to look to the marriage relationship for what was “missing.” In other words, why was the cheater unhappy? Besides being predicated on a sociologically proven false premise–i.e. cheaters only cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages (see Dr. … Continue reading “Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!”
Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest”
“I have to be open and honest.” -Cheater This is a manipulation game for the unaware. A cheater seeking “openness” from a faithful spouse is really asking for them to show all their cards while the cheater holds their own close to the chest. It is a plea for one-sided disclosure. Openness is not the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest””