Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. If we do not obey a command, we are sinning. It is a sin … Continue reading “Sin is to be silent.”
Category: Emotional Affair
Blaming their misery on you!
“Can’t you see that I am ‘dying’ here!” says dramatic Cheater. Some Cheaters want to make you responsible for their happiness or misery. They refuse responsibility for their own feelings. The danger arises when we believe them and accept such responsibility, which isn’t ours to carry. We do not have the power to control the … Continue reading “Blaming their misery on you!”
Somehow I was wrong?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading “Somehow I was wrong?!”
Okay to admit being “not okay”
Walking in reality is good for our souls. Sometimes, that means admitting that we are “not okay.” But we can still hold hope that eventually we will be well. As we walk with Jesus, we know this is true. AND God can handle us being upset and “not okay” in the present. I love this … Continue reading “Okay to admit being “not okay””
Sucker punch feeling
What just happened? You thought your spouse would never cheat on you. That was until you were faced with indisputable evidence to the contrary. It is a sucker punch to the gut. I think infidelity discovery is one the most disorienting experiences a human can have. The betrayal is soul deep. Depending on how long … Continue reading “Sucker punch feeling”
Wondering… Do they?
I wonder… …do some Cheaters ever even consider they might be the problem. Of course, the usual course of these things is to externalize the problem. They blame their spouse. Or they might blame the affair partner. Another candidate might be the stresses of work. Cheaters have a long list of things or people to blame … Continue reading “Wondering… Do they?”
Meditating on Psalm 89:14
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. -Psalm 89:14, NIV I believe adultery is affront to the very throne or authority of God. As the Psalmist states here, we see love and faithfulness as linked to the symbol of God’s authority–i.e. His throne. Adultery is the opposite … Continue reading “Meditating on Psalm 89:14”
Lacking Self-Esteem? Really?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV While a cheater might blame their cheating on a lack of self-esteem, I find this excuse rather lame. They “esteemed” themselves so much that they took or gave what did not belong … Continue reading “Lacking Self-Esteem? Really?!”
Cannot Repent
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV You cannot repent of sin that is not yours! We are responsible for our own sin, not another’s. … Continue reading “Cannot Repent”
Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.”
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.””