“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” -Mark 10:45, NIV When a spouse is constantly calculating whether he or she has a “good deal” with their partner, they have missed the true heart of Christian marriage. … Continue reading “Exposing Pagan Thinking On Marriage”
Category: Emotional Affair
Dear Divorce Minister, Why are Christians so bad at responding to adultery?
Dear Divorce Minister, My D-Day (I’ve found you via Chump Lady) was back in 2001, and much time and healing has happened since my husband left me for his AP. I have changed my career (bank manager to priest in the Church of England), I travel (we had no children), and I write fantasy novels … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, Why are Christians so bad at responding to adultery?”
The marriage is adultery ablaze!
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. – I Corinthians 6:18, NLT When talking about adultery, I would like to use a metaphor. Think of a marriage as a house. The adulterous spouse has … Continue reading “The marriage is adultery ablaze!”
Even God Requires Repentance First!
“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “Even God Requires Repentance First!”
Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!
God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Pastors, do you really care about the healing of infidelity victims? If so, then please preach that the perpetrators need to repent. One of the many things that bothers me about Christians responding to infidelity situations is how they seem unconcern … Continue reading “Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!”
“Mistake” Minimization
“It was a mistake.” -Cheater Adultery is far more than “a mistake.” The word just makes me cringe internally when I see or hear it used to talk about infidelity. In one sense, the word is accurate. The person did something wrong. A “mistake” highlights that. However, the word “mistake” trivializes what the cheater did. … Continue reading ““Mistake” Minimization”
Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?
Dear Divorce Minister, ….back in Feb. I discovered my husband of 20 years had been having a 2 year affair. About 2 weeks later I discovered that my MIL, who prides herself on being an ‘upstanding Christian woman’ who attends church twice a week, knew about the affair! I caught my husband by using a … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?”
Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?
Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NLT Is the cheater asking for forgiveness or simply seeking to avoid … Continue reading “Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?”
Cheater, focus on YOUR part!
“She will just keep this hanging over my head. I don’t think she will ever really forgive me.” -Cheater to pastor Cheater, focus on YOUR own part! A wise pastor and Christian counselor will not take this bait to bash the faithful spouse. Instead, he or she will remind the cheater that he only controls … Continue reading “Cheater, focus on YOUR part!”
Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.
Pastors, we–faithful spouses–are past talking about marriage enrichment issues. One of the many annoying things about talking to some Christians about infidelity is how they seem incapable of basic spiritual care triage. They do not understand how working on “communication skills” is not going to save a marriage where one partner refuses to stop banging … Continue reading “Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.”