When the choice wasn’t yours, you may still have people asking and blaming you for it. Such blaming is not biblical! Scripture is clear that we are responsible for our own actions and sins (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). We do not answer for another’s. It is a good way to go crazy trying to mind-read … Continue reading “When the choice to divorce wasn’t yours…”
Category: Emotional Affair
Sin is sin. But what about justice and commonsense?
“Sin is sin.” – Christian Minimizing Adultery This is a saying that cheater apologists use to guilt faithful spouses into taking back their cheater. It is a minimization of adultery. Saying, “Sin is sin” is as stupid as saying, “A crime is a crime” then suggesting we should put speeders on the electric chair just … Continue reading “Sin is sin. But what about justice and commonsense?”
THAT “friend”
After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me….” -Job 42:7a, NLT THAT “friend” said all sort of things to you…inaccurate about God (and you) like Job’s friends. Sometimes this is done out of ignorance. … Continue reading “THAT “friend””
Happy Reformation Day! 500 Year Anniversary.
“Here I stand; I can do no other.” – Martin Luther On this day five hundred years ago, Martin Luther famously nailed his 95 theses to the doors of Wittenberg church. Many mark this as the beginning of the Protestant Reformation(s). One man and his sincerely held convictions transformed the world. October 31st, 1517 was … Continue reading “Happy Reformation Day! 500 Year Anniversary.”
God does NOT think…
I am convinced God does NOT think… …you are responsible for your ex-spouse cheating on you and discarding you. God is just. God holds the actor responsible for the actions he or she did, not their victim (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). No matter what your cheater or even a pastor might say, God does not … Continue reading “God does NOT think…”
Forget the Script! Burn it.
The Christian family script that I was taught as a teenager goes something like this: Meet a Christian. Marry a Christian. Have children and build a life together ,forever. Then you will be blessed and considered wonderful by church folks. But that script is out of the reach of many faithful Christians. In fact, it … Continue reading “Forget the Script! Burn it.”
Not a communication problem. A SIN problem.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV And Jesus replied: “‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely.” -Mathew 19:18, NLT A running “joke” among marriage therapists I understand is that every issue is a communication issue among couples. I disagree. Adultery is not a communication … Continue reading “Not a communication problem. A SIN problem.”
Therapy alone, a good marriage does NOT make!
If attending pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and individual therapy could make a good marriage, then my first marriage ought to have been amazing. It wasn’t. Instead, my current marriage with Mrs. DM–where we have attended nearly zero therapy sessions together–is thriving. Attending therapy does not make a good marriage. Other elements are far more important … Continue reading “Therapy alone, a good marriage does NOT make!”
“Do you hear yourself, cheater?”
“Do you hear yourself? That is what we call making excuses.” -Wise Pastor to Cheater Labeling matters appropriately does not only help the cheater, but it also helps their victim, the faithful spouse. Proper labels expose the deeds of the dark to light (see Ephesians 5:11). It is astounding to me how so-called Christian pastors … Continue reading ““Do you hear yourself, cheater?””
Possible. But likely? Doubt it.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible. But likely? Doubt it.”