“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV The amount of gratitude ought to match the amount forgiven. This is one lesson I take from Jesus’ teaching in this verse. And it is an important spiritual lesson … Continue reading “Lack of gratitude is a major red flag!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Pro-Tip: A refusal to engage on relationship positives is discard preparation.
When a cheater is done with you, they might refuse to talk about what they enjoy about being married to you. This makes it easier on them both to cheat on you and to discard you. After all, the positives would remind them of real losses that come with the ending of the marriage. Such … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: A refusal to engage on relationship positives is discard preparation.”
Cheater lines…
“I don’t love you anymore.” “I feel like we are just roommates.” “I need space.” Have you heard any of these “gems” come out of your cheater’s mouth? Maybe they spoke such words before you knew they were cheating on you? That would make sense. As these words are designed to hide their dastardly behavior … Continue reading “Cheater lines…”
A Holy Saturday sort of feel!
At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. -John 19:41-42, NIV When dealing with a cheater and the devastation wrought by their … Continue reading “A Holy Saturday sort of feel!”
False hope feeding
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False hope feeding”
Forgiven, yet not?
Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. -I Peter 3:18a, NLT You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven. This is a paradoxical truth about forgiveness. Both are true. You have truly forgiven your cheater. However, … Continue reading “Forgiven, yet not?”
Foolish people
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NLT In my season of suffering, I found some people simply do not want to hear my pain. They didn’t want to understand. These people were set in their beliefs about divorce. They were happy to share their judgment … Continue reading “Foolish people”
PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!
When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes, And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB Public Service Announcement (PSA): When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with … Continue reading “PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!”
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!”
Never really chosen
Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “Never really chosen”