Don’t follow after the wicked ones or be jealous of their wealth. Don’t think for a moment they’re better off than you. They and their short-lived success will soon shrivel up and quickly fade away like grass clippings in the hot sun. -Psalm 37:1-2, TPT Much energy can be wasted in cheater envy. Been there. Done … Continue reading “Envying your Cheater?”
Category: Emotional Affair
Still… bad enough
A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Still… bad enough”
Cheater push-back on wearing wedding band
“How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!” -Petulant Cheater A cheater may take off her ring in order to avoid the constant reminder of her infidelity. This symbolic act speaks volumes. There is a reason we exchange rings in marriage ceremonies. The symbol is indicative of the vows exchanged between the couple before … Continue reading “Cheater push-back on wearing wedding band”
God, Forgiveness, and Justice
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “God, Forgiveness, and Justice”
Allowed to have friends?
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries to … Continue reading “Allowed to have friends?”
Religious-y “Both Sides” Advice
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores: They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Religious-y “Both Sides” Advice”
Fruit, Not Professions!
“15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by th eir fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.” -Jesus in Matthew … Continue reading “Fruit, Not Professions!”
Dreams Die So Others May Rise
And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him [Joseph].” -Genesis 37:35, KJV Giving up the dreams regarding your marriage are tough. I had … Continue reading “Dreams Die So Others May Rise”
Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case
Bethel Church of Redding, California is currently embroiled in a leadership scandal. Once their poster child for a restored leader following moral failure, Ben Armstrong (BA), is back in the spotlight for alleged lies and Clergy Sexual Abuse allegations. To Bethel Church’s credit, they have put Ben Armstrong on administrative leave as they investigate these … Continue reading “Unpunishable or unsafe? Bethel and Ben Armstrong Case”
Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.”