Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Facing difficult truths”
Category: Emotional Affair
Attention Addiction
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Attention Addiction”
Adultery as an escape
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Some Cheaters “escape” the mundane issues of their lives into a fantasy world with their affair partner(s). You can never compete with this as the adulterous relationship is based on a fantasy–and not the reality of … Continue reading “Adultery as an escape”
A certain pastoral stance
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Issues With “For the Marriage” Pastoral Stance Sometimes, pastors, you cannot both be … Continue reading “A certain pastoral stance”
Believe truth!
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. -Hebrews 4:12, NLT Do not get your beliefs from your cheater! They are liars. Plus, their lies are designed for their own … Continue reading “Believe truth!”
Simple Commandment
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV I wonder how this simple and clear commandment has become second fiddle to couples’ counseling “wisdom” for so many pastors. So much time goes into the “why” of the cheating and little time is spent on pointing out the willful nature of the sin. In other words, … Continue reading “Simple Commandment”
The gut knows
This morning I was watching a reel on my phone. In this reel, a man called into a show and shared about his troubled marriage. He talked about how his wife had an “emotional affair.” The host and the caller go back and forth about what he should have done as a husband. Then the … Continue reading “The gut knows”
Cheater: Pharisee or Enemy?
And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. -Matthew 5:41, NKJV In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. -Matthew 23:28, NIV When dealing with a “Christian” cheater, another level of complexity is placed on Christians … Continue reading “Cheater: Pharisee or Enemy?”
Hard truth: Not everyone will be reasonable.
“Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” -Servant to Abigail, I Samuel 25:17, NIV This verse comes from the story of David, Abigail, and Nabal recorded in I … Continue reading “Hard truth: Not everyone will be reasonable.”
Pro-Tip: Cheaters might just be projecting onto you!
Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues onto you! Cheaters are not very good at owning their own behaviors. But they do excel at blaming others for their misdeeds. So, it should come as no surprise that the “sins” or “misdeeds” that they accused their spouses of are likely the misdeeds … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Cheaters might just be projecting onto you!”