Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse”
Category: Emotional Affair
Two Big Pastoral Errors
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two Big Pastoral Errors”
Souls are eternal, NOT marriages!
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls are eternal, NOT marriages!”
As Jesus did.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV How forgiving was Jesus to the Pharisees? Jesus understood that some people wanted nothing to do with his forgiveness. They were self-righteous, and in their minds, they needed none of his. This is the usual crowd of cheaters. They often behave like Pharisees. Some are especially … Continue reading “As Jesus did.”
Cheating is deliberate sin!
People downplay the deliberateness of cheating. All sorts of language is employed to minimize what is truly something very clearly chosen by the cheater… again and again. They might call it “a mistake,” “a cry for help,” or “one night stand.” All of this is minimizing the choices that led to the infidelity plus the sinful … Continue reading “Cheating is deliberate sin!”
Cut Through the Confusion
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Cut Through the Confusion! Cheaters thrive on confusion in their mark spouse. They hope the faithful spouse buys into the line that the cheating is really their fault and NOT the cheaters. Some will employ professionals to add to the confusion having faithful spouses believe the cheating … Continue reading “Cut Through the Confusion”
Burden to their “self-discovery”
Why does cheating for some people seem necessary in their quest for “self discovery”? I do not see this as necessarily connected. One can explore oneself without betraying one’s spouse. However, I suspect this behavior is in part a holdover from cheaters never really rebelling as a youth as it wasn’t safe for them. They … Continue reading “Burden to their “self-discovery””
So, so confident!
“‘Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them. But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” …. Then Samuel went to Saul, and Saul said to him, “Blessed are you of the Lord! I have performed the commandment … Continue reading “So, so confident!”
Fight for your marriage by looking at your issues?!
“She cheated,” says Faithful Spouse. “Well, what you’ve got to do is fight for your marriage. Focus on fixing your shortcomings so that she wants to come back,” says Clueless Christian. No marriage exists to fight for as long as your cheater keeps lying and cheating. The very first step is to get the Cheater … Continue reading “Fight for your marriage by looking at your issues?!”
Tactic: Just admit to an “emotional affair”
“Sure, I had an emotional affair. But it was just a cry for help,” says Cheater. Sadly, this admission around some carnal Christians will lead to questions about the faithful spouse’s performance as a husband or wife: Why did she “have to” have an emotional affair?! I bet you can see where such questioning is … Continue reading “Tactic: Just admit to an “emotional affair””