The Discard Narrative Cheaters are adept at crafting narratives to suit their nefarious purposes. They tell others and themselves all sort of wicked things about their faithful spouse while trying to keep their mark–i.e. the faithful spouse–off the scent of their infidelities. When faced with counterfactual information, they will dismiss those facts about their faithful … Continue reading “The Discard Narrative”
Category: Emotional Affair
Sinning (ex) in-laws
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NLT I wonder how many of us had interfering in-laws in our marriages that ended with our Cheater. Instead of instructing their own child in the ways of the Lord, they tried to control their son … Continue reading “Sinning (ex) in-laws”
Messing with definitions
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters–aka Messing with Definitions I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with … Continue reading “Messing with definitions”
Cheater planned deception
17 “I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. 19 For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey….” -Proverbs 7:17-19, NKJV Unless your Cheater told you the day of the “deed,” you can be … Continue reading “Cheater planned deception”
Others’ disbelief is unhelpful
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Others’ disbelief is unhelpful”
Healing Validation
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”
Silence IS sin!
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “Silence IS sin!”
“Telling” to manipulate
“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”
Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…”
“I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater A Cheater saying something like this is a Cheater planning on abandoning the faithful spouse. Now, they may or may not be self-aware about this. It is possible that they are so self-deceived that they believe the lie about the separation benefits. … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…””
On Temporary Discomfort
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. -2 Corinthians 4:17, NIV Weight training in equipment has provided a life lesson: Pressing into the discomfort leads to joy afterwards! When you have over 700lbs/317kg hanging over you, pressure starts building in the head with … Continue reading “On Temporary Discomfort”