Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Cheating is abuse. It is not morally neutral behavior.”
Category: Emotional Affair
Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?
“Did you ever love her?” OR “Did you ever love him?” This is such a simply stated question. However, it is far from simple when applied to a cheater. Looking back on the marriage and how it ended, it is complicated. How can you say you ever loved someone who revealed they were utterly different … Continue reading “Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?”
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”
Messy openness
The lips of the wise give good advice; the heart of a fool has none to give. -Proverbs 15:7, NLT When I was desperate to stop my first marriage from ending, I made the mistake of opening myself up to too many people. It was messy. I think part of this mistake was born of … Continue reading “Messy openness”
Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists
“But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the Lord Almighty. -Malachi 2:8, NIV More than one of my (now) ex-wife’s family members took it upon themselves to lecture me about how I needed to be a better Christian and … Continue reading “Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists”
Emotional Affair sign
“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” -Matthew 19:6, NLT When your wife is more concerned about the opinion of her male “friend” than she is of her husband, you can be assured she has crossed over to an emotional affair, minimally. This is … Continue reading “Emotional Affair sign”
Professing Christian Cheaters
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in … Continue reading “Professing Christian Cheaters”
Divorce as Morally Injurous Event
While doing my year-long residency as a chaplain at a Veterans’ Affairs Medical Center, I gained education on a relatively new area of research for professional chaplains and psychologists. Most people today are familiar with the acronym PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), but I would be surprised if many are aware of this accompanying concept–i.e. moral injury. Please … Continue reading “Divorce as Morally Injurous Event”
Worse than we suspected
One thing too many pastors get wrong about faithful spouses is how we are just “looking for a way out” when we divorce our cheater. That is NOT what is happening! There are far less painful ways to end a marriage than through infidelity discovery. Trust me. The reality is we–faithful spouses–probably undersold the mess. … Continue reading “Worse than we suspected”
Cheaters and their precious image
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” -Matthew 23:27, NIV Few things are more hypocritical than committing adultery while maintaining one is a “good Christian.” … Continue reading “Cheaters and their precious image”