Category: Reconciliation

Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.”

“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV Please do NOT fight for your marriage, faithful spouses!  Doing that simply perpetuates the wrong idea that a cheater is entitled to a marriage they have discarded … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, please do NOT “fight for your marriage.””

On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness

For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. -Romans 8:16, NLT So, you have discovered that your spouse has been unfaithful. He (or she) cheated on you and hid the double life with copious lies for months and possibly years. Now, you must decide what you do with new information. What does … Continue reading “On Hearing God Amidst Infidelity Madness”

When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…

Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When the cheater doesn’t see the problem…”

Christians, you don’t have to be friends with your cheating ex! Really.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” -Matthew 23:15, NIV Public Service Announcement: Faithful spouses, you don’t have to become BFFs with … Continue reading “Christians, you don’t have to be friends with your cheating ex! Really.”

Mailbag: Is NOT divorcing my unrepentant cheater a sin?

“Not filing to divorce an unrepentant cheating spouse is also enabling but do you think it’s dishonoring Christ by not filing? Also, if that is the case (enabling and dishonoring Christ) wouldn’t not filing actually be a sin and against Gods will?” -Eric Eric, That’s a good set of questions. Let me boil them down to … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is NOT divorcing my unrepentant cheater a sin?”

A Conspicuous Absence In Pastoral Training!

If you spent even a little time looking over the required curriculum for M.Div. students at most evangelical seminaries, you will notice a heavy emphasis on Biblical languages and Scripture exegesis. In my former denomination, this emphasis is reflected in their ordaining process, which pushes candidates to memorize Scripture for each doctrine of interest to the … Continue reading “A Conspicuous Absence In Pastoral Training!”

Pro Tip: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours…

He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church…. –Ephesians 5:28b-29, NIV PRO TIP: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours, then that is a clear signal that your … Continue reading “Pro Tip: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours…”

Sick Secrets…

On my commute into work, I listen to a local radio station that dispenses relationship advice. This segment on KS95 is called “Love ’em or List ’em.” Today’s situation involved cheating and the advice given was mostly awful. A quick recap of the situation: Angela is the caller. She just got engaged but is sick … Continue reading “Sick Secrets…”

Can you live with the lies?

All day long you plot destruction.     Your tongue cuts like a sharp razor;     you’re an expert at telling lies. You love evil more than good     and lies more than truth. -Psalm 52:2-3, NLT I am a firm believer when it comes to full disclosure to the faithful spouse regarding what the cheater did. Darkness is only … Continue reading “Can you live with the lies?”