Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NKJV What if the divorce is the mercy or “miracle” you truly need? It feels blasphemous to even raise this question. However, I think it is a legitimate question. Sometimes, the divorce is the best of bad options for a faithful spouse. In fact, … Continue reading “What if the miracle IS the merciful divorce?”
Category: Sin
“Remember, stay teachable,” says Spiritually Abusive Authority.
Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. In my experience, religious authorities employ the “unteachable” label as a weapon to dismiss people who resist their control. This is spiritual abuse, by the way. … Continue reading ““Remember, stay teachable,” says Spiritually Abusive Authority.”
Church-y advice about “both sides”
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Church-y advice about “both sides””
“I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.”
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading ““I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included.””
Gun shy in sharing publicly about DM blog!
While I’ve been blogging for nearly a decade on this topic, I still keep this part of my ministry less public personally. Most people who meet me will never know I do this ministry. That said, my Facebook “friends” know as I share it there. It is one reason why I think twice about adding … Continue reading “Gun shy in sharing publicly about DM blog!”
Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!”
“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!””
Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches”
Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?
“How to respond when both spouses in a marriage have committed adultery; and remain impenitent. Should you maintain a friendship with both, either, or neither?” –Iwoots Dear Iwoots, What does the Bible have to say about such a situation? But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims … Continue reading “Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?”
Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.”
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.””
Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!”