While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources”
Category: Theology of divorce
Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors” This is the phrase I find myself using to describe my ministry here and in person to others in the Church. I might … Continue reading “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors”
Be at peace with your decision.
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. -I Corinthians 2:12, NIV While I view divorce as a mercy for faithful spouses, I do not insist on it. I am aware that God calls us to … Continue reading “Be at peace with your decision.”
Spiritual Abuse and Cheating
“What Is Spiritual Abuse? Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse.” –WebMD 7 “The words of a priest’s lips should preserve knowledge of God, and people should go to him for instruction, for the priest is the messenger of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 8 But you … Continue reading “Spiritual Abuse and Cheating”
I was interviewed for a podcast! Talking Spiritual Abuse and Divorce.
Earlier this past month, I had the privilege to speak with Tracy Schorn and Sarah Gorrell on Spiritual Abuse and Infidelity for their podcast, Tell Me How You’re Mighty. The interview is now live on YouTube. Here is the (click here).
Christian-ese: “Own your part of the marriage’s breakdown.”
“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery–unless his wife has been unfaithful.” -Matthew 19:9, NLT What did YOU contribute to your marriage’s breakdown?! Years ago, I used to believe this was a reasonable question to ask any divorced individual. After all, we are imperfect creatures. We … Continue reading “Christian-ese: “Own your part of the marriage’s breakdown.””
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.
Starting Point: Cheating is abuse. The more I do this work, the more I am convinced this is THE defining assumption missing among Christian leaders. They treat adultery as less than abuse. If they get this assumption wrong, then all sorts of bad counsel flows from it. Conversely, if they get this assumption correct, there … Continue reading “Starting Point: Cheating is abuse.”
God required changed actions!
“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “God required changed actions!”
Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse
The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. -Deuteronomy 28:13, NIV Why is divorce treated from the pulpit as worse than enduring unrepentant adultery in … Continue reading “Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse”
More troubled by divorce than adultery
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV In some Christian circles, the only unpardonable sin in a marriage is filing for divorce. Everything else might be frowned upon but does not receive the vitriol from the pulpit that choosing divorce does. Such priorities are evidence of idolatry as this is not how God treats … Continue reading “More troubled by divorce than adultery”