What if pastors and Christian counselors had to pay a faithful spouse $10,000 or more if they were wrong about the cheating being over?! In my opinion, faithful spouses who stay in marriages for subsequent infidelity discoveries are loosing more than just $10,000. They are loosing precious time, emotional well-being, and physical well-being (e.g. risk … Continue reading “What if pastors and Christian counselors had “skin” in the game?”
Category: Theology of divorce
Dear DM, I want to reconcile, but…
Dear Divorce Minister, I married my husband after 1.5 years of dating, in church. Both of us were Christian or so I thought. After 9 months of marriage, when I was 36 weeks pregnant, my husband came back from an overseas trip and told me he cheated on me. He asked for a divorce. He … Continue reading “Dear DM, I want to reconcile, but…”
At least one remarriage was blessed: God’s!
You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in.” Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either. -Romans 11:19-21, NIV Often times, … Continue reading “At least one remarriage was blessed: God’s!”
Life legacy and fleeting nature of our lives
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. -Psalm 103:15, NLT How fleeting and short life is. This was impressed upon me recently when a good friend was killed with his wife in a car accident. We do not know when our final day is. A cheater lives as if … Continue reading “Life legacy and fleeting nature of our lives”
When cheaters see no problem…
Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When cheaters see no problem…”
Behave like Abraham?
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” -Genesis 22:2, NIV Is this advice all godly parents ought to follow, literally? No. I raise this absurd example to highlight how foolish it is … Continue reading “Behave like Abraham?”
Unfinished Cheater Business
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” -Matthew 5:23-24, NIV When a cheater divorces and goes on to remarry, … Continue reading “Unfinished Cheater Business”
Yes, they did.
–Did your spouse try to blame you for their cheating? Maybe they called it a “cry for help?” –Did your spouse live a double life of lies for months if not years of hidden cheating? –Did your spouse attend multiple marriage counseling while maintaining a secret affair partner the whole time? I do not know … Continue reading “Yes, they did.”
Do not wish the pain of adultery discovery on anyone!
While some pastors will talk about not wishing divorce on anyone, I think that is a late wish. The problem is the adultery and its accompanying lies. Sometimes a situation is only remedied through a hard and painful action. Surgery requires cutting into flesh. It is bloody, painful, and costly. Of course, I would wish … Continue reading “Do not wish the pain of adultery discovery on anyone!”
Divorce is NOT “of the Devil!”
“Divorce is of the Devil!” -Christian leader I want to begin this post by owning that this was probably how I would have talked about divorce prior to my own experience with it. My Christian background was very anti-divorce. This made my situation with my first (now ex) wife even more painful than it had to … Continue reading “Divorce is NOT “of the Devil!””