Recently, I came across an article written by my endorsing organization, The National Association of Evangelicals. This article is entitled, “Can Pastors be Restored After Adultery.” It was posted in May 2012. The article is more or less a report from a poll taken from evangelical leaders on the question posed as the post’s title: … Continue reading “Adultery, Divorce, and My Situation in the EFCA”
Category: Theology of divorce
Not up to you to stay married…
It is not up to you alone to stay married. This is a painful truth that the church needs to internalize. Divorce need not be chosen by both partners. One spouse can unilaterally decide to leave… …for any–or no–reason whatsoever! It is possible to have one spouse invested in seeing the marriage work 100% plus. That does … Continue reading “Not up to you to stay married…”
Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual Suffering Best Addressed By Spiritual Counselors”
Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am a adultery (victim) survivor. I actually think my stumble onto your webpage was an answer to my prayer. Recently a minister in my large church dropped a bombshell on the congregation. He told us that his wife had had an affair, and divorced him. He never prior to this announcement … Continue reading “Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.”
On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? … Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye…” – Matthew 7:3, 5a, NLT When I was going through my trials, I had no shortage of religious people willing to “help” me see my “sin” or … Continue reading “On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks”
Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?
“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…” -Cheater Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer? Of course, not. Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out … Continue reading “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”
Divorce is partial soul amputation.
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:5b-6a, NIV Like animal who gnaws off a limb to escape from a trap and certain death, a faithful spouse leaves part … Continue reading “Divorce is partial soul amputation.”
Because of, NOT in spite of, my divorce…
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. -Proverbs 4:18-19, NIV Within evangelical Christianity, the sense I often get is how any blessing following divorce comes in spite of as opposed to because of getting divorced. Such sense is all a part of church leaders making divorce the … Continue reading “Because of, NOT in spite of, my divorce…”
Does through ‘better or worse’ include infidelity?
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT Does staying married through ‘better or worse’ include through infidelity? Short answer: No. Here’s the longer, biblical reasons I say that… I quote Leviticus 20:10 not to suggest that we … Continue reading “Does through ‘better or worse’ include infidelity?”
Choosing Divorce Is Not Vengeful
And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned [to divorce her] secretly. -Matthew 1:19, NASB (footnoted alternate translation used in brackets) Do we consider a rape victim “hurt and vengeful” for choosing to have her rapist prosecuted for his crime? I wouldn’t. It is a matter of justice … Continue reading “Choosing Divorce Is Not Vengeful”