“I only say this because I love you…” -Cheater-Apologist “For your own good, I hope you have forgiven them.” -Concerned Christian I cannot stand people who use the name of Christ to manipulate other Christians. This is the result of my experiences around the dissolution of my first marriage. I sadly encountered many “Christians” professing … Continue reading “Obscuring religious language”
Author: Divorce Minister
On feeling wanted
4 And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, “Though I fear not God, nor regard man; 5 Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.” -Luke 18:4-5, KJV A while back, I remember a mentor, Pastor Gary Gilbertson, teaching on this … Continue reading “On feeling wanted”
On “godly sorrow”
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “On “godly sorrow””
9th Blog Anniversary!
Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is now nine years old! This resource for faithful spouses and their supporters has come a long ways from a simple “brain dump.” As I write this, I am roughly 10,000 views away from 1,000,000 views and just over 400,000 visitors to the blog! I am grateful for the opportunity … Continue reading “9th Blog Anniversary!”
Wanting to rehash the marriage
Some cheaters will come back around and attempt to reconnect with their faithful partner after the divorce. They may want to rehash what happened in the marriage. This is just a recipe for abuse for the faithful partner. Do NOT take the bait! A repentant cheater would put action to their sorry. They wouldn’t try … Continue reading “Wanting to rehash the marriage”
“But you would hold that over my head forever,” says Cheater.
“I would forgive anything including cheating,” says Faithful Spouse. “But you would just hold that over me forever,” replies Cheater. Because the church has taught a distorted version of forgiveness, Cheaters feel entitled to forgiveness. They assume a Christian spouse will have to forgive them. The church has failed to teach the place of repentance when … Continue reading ““But you would hold that over my head forever,” says Cheater.”
Cheater-Speak: “I can’t pretend anymore.”
“I can’t pretend anymore,” says Cheater. The irony of this statement is almost funny if it was not so tragic and painful. A cheater saying such a thing is just spouting a lie. They do not have a problem with pretending: Cheating requires pretending one is not married, after all. The whole point of a … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I can’t pretend anymore.””
Failures in counseling
You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! -Job 13:4, NIV One of the more infuriating things about looking back on my first marriage’s demise is how awful the counselors were! These were professionals who were worse than worthless. They enabled an entitlement mentality by my cheater and aided in her … Continue reading “Failures in counseling”
Grief ambushes. It is what it does.
I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. -Psalm 6:6, NIV Yesterday, grief surprised me. This wasn’t grief over my first marriage. It was grief over a lost mentor and true friend. He died in a car accident last year. I … Continue reading “Grief ambushes. It is what it does.”
Raising donations for Hope Kids charity!
Picture taken in Central Park (New York City, NY) – App filters applied Years ago, I needed a distraction from the dissolution of my marriage. So, I went to NYC and spent time with my best friends. It was just what I needed. Sometimes we need such (healthy) distractions to get us through some hard … Continue reading “Raising donations for Hope Kids charity!”