For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. -Ephesians 5:8a, NIV I believe a lie is always present when it comes to shame. Either we are being lied to, or we are living a lie. God did not design us to live in the darkness doing the deeds of the darkness. … Continue reading “Lies and shame”
Author: Divorce Minister
“It just happened,” says Cheater
“It just happened.” -Cheater This sort of explanation of an affair is a way to avoid responsibility. It is a way to ascribe the affair to causes like blizzards and tsunamis. It just happened. Natural disasters “just happen.” Sin takes an agent. If this was not so, then God would not bother telling us NOT … Continue reading ““It just happened,” says Cheater”
Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom”
Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NLT So much advice or counsel in the church on adultery and divorce is “high-sounding nonsense” in my opinion. Most do not approach the topic … Continue reading “Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom””
Tune into Love, not Fear!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV When faced with stressful circumstances, are you going to listen to Love or Fear? Fear tells us that it is too much. It intimidates. Fear tries to get us to … Continue reading “Tune into Love, not Fear!”
Cannot be undone
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV When a spouse decides to commit adultery, the marriage is forever changed. What is done cannot be undone. I believe the natural state of such marriages is one of death. … Continue reading “Cannot be undone”
Pro-Tip: Do NOT accept allowing the cheater to end it without you.
Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV Liars lie. And cheaters by the fact that they cheated are liars. A wise person does not just take them at their word. Words need to be verified by action. I do not recommend trusting a cheater … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do NOT accept allowing the cheater to end it without you.”
The way things are taught in church you would think…
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV You would think… …this verse said: “Thou shalt not divorce your spouse.” But it does NOT! The Bible does not treat divorce like it treats adultery. Our Ten Commandments doe NOT prohibit divorce. They prohibit adultery. This is clear. However, you would think Bible-believing pastors were preaching … Continue reading “The way things are taught in church you would think…”
Speak truth to shame
There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health. -Proverbs 12:18, NKJV Stuck with serrated shame. This is how I describe that experience you get when someone finds your emotionally vulnerable place and shames you there. It might only be a word or two. However, the damage … Continue reading “Speak truth to shame”
Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4, NKJV I grew up in an evangelical church where I attended youth group in the 90s. “Purity culture” was big in those days for evangelical teens. As an adult, I realize some of my upbringing was not the most helpful. … Continue reading “Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land”
Why did I stay stuck so long?
Why was I stuck for so long? This is a good question to ask ourselves after a divorce from a cheater. Some people break free faster than others. That said, others take a long time coming to terms with their marriage’s end. I really struggled with the end of my marriage. Three things really kept … Continue reading “Why did I stay stuck so long?”