When we divorce our cheater, faithful spouses often do not know the full story (and probably won’t ever). This is one of the traumatic aspects of marrying a cheater. They have all the knowledge of who and when they slept with someone else. But they are unwilling to give that to information to their spouse. … Continue reading “Divorce and those narrative gaps”
Author: Divorce Minister
A necessary ending
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV While we do not kill adulterous parties anymore in the USA, I do believe we can derive some wisdom from this verse. The finality of … Continue reading “A necessary ending”
Get a good lawyer
When going through a divorce, I would recommend getting a good divorce lawyer for the process. Think of it as an investment in your future. You do not want to be surprised after the fact with issues that you cannot fixed once divorced. I understand that divorce lawyers make more money as it gets more … Continue reading “Get a good lawyer”
Caring for self
When I was going through the deep valley of separation, adultery discovery, and divorce, I had to make conscience decisions to take care of myself. The grief is that extreme. For me, I had to remind myself to eat. If I did not do this, then I would not have eaten at all during that … Continue reading “Caring for self”
Fighting Because NOT Primary Support
I suspect fights get more frequent with Cheaters because we are no longer their primary relationship and support. They have someone else. So, it costs less for them to harm the marriage relationship. They have less incentive to fix what they are harming as well. One of the gifts of divorce is freeing us from … Continue reading “Fighting Because NOT Primary Support”
Busy Christmas and Angelic Intervention
And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way. -Matthew 2:12, KJV When Jesus was vulnerable as a baby, we see a battle to end his life and God sending His angels to preserve Him. God still operates in this way. … Continue reading “Busy Christmas and Angelic Intervention”
Weapon fit for service
“See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of … Continue reading “Weapon fit for service”
Underestimated
Often, I believe cheaters underestimate us, faithful spouses. They assume their games will continue undetected and without confrontation. Maybe they had had “success” for so long that they got complacent? Some treat the faithful spouse as a lesser being. They fail to respect our agency and inherent worth. Cheaters just give out contempt. But that … Continue reading “Underestimated”
I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!
I envy some faithful spouses. The cheater cheats on them, gets discovered, and the faithful spouse does not even blink an eye in telling that cheater it is over. They refuse to be treated like that. They exercise their permission to divorce without looking back. That wasn’t me. I suspect many of us did what … Continue reading “I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!”
Focus on gratitude
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. -I Thessalonians 5:18, KJV Life is frustrating at times. Injustice is rife in this world. Yet I am choosing to focus on the gifts in my life. It is a command–after all–that we choose thanksgiving. I find this … Continue reading “Focus on gratitude”