What cheaters often miss while blaming faithful spouses or their marriage conditions is how such behavior reveals them. A normal, godly person does not cheat in response to typical marriage disappointments. That is not as option on the table for a righteous person. This is the main difference between the cheater and the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheaters blaming others reveals their own character flaws.”
Author: Divorce Minister
Put the shovel down!
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. We do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is … Continue reading “Put the shovel down!”
Lessons from the birds
“Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they?” -Matthew 6:26a, TPT Financial worry was a really close companion during the end of … Continue reading “Lessons from the birds”
Marriage day vows are a solemn promise to choose your spouse
‘”6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.’” -Matthew 19:6, NLT Today, I was at a conference where the speaker, Steve Backlund, said something about marriage and making decisions. He stated that the marriage vows really say, “I’m going to keep choosing you.” I totally … Continue reading “Marriage day vows are a solemn promise to choose your spouse”
Fighting to hold onto hope!
… and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. -Romans 5:4b-5a, NLT Sometimes, it is hard to hope. That makes sense. This is especially so in light of the devastating losses that come with divorce from a cheater. In these seasons, I find it important to remember … Continue reading “Fighting to hold onto hope!”
Really BAD idea!
“Why don’t you both take a break from each other?” -Clueless Counselor This is one of the dumbest pieces of advice given to a couple dealing with infidelity. The problems of an infidelity ravaged marriage are not solved by creating more distance and less accountability for the cheater. Both are the last things needed, actually. A break … Continue reading “Really BAD idea!”
A dream-prompting
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT Each night, I pray that God would send me healing and prophetic dreams as I go to bed. This morning I woke remembering a vivid dream. It involved a “friend” who betrayed me in my divorce from … Continue reading “A dream-prompting”
My feelings regarding the Other Man
Keep to a path far from her [adulteress], do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. -Proverbs 8-10, NIV How do I feel about the affair … Continue reading “My feelings regarding the Other Man”
Their sins are NOT in anyway your fault!
For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. – 2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT You are NOT responsible for your Cheater’s sins. Period. If you are like me, you will encounter all sort of people … Continue reading “Their sins are NOT in anyway your fault!”
Anger towards “supporting characters”
God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Oddly enough, my anger was often directed to other bad actors in my divorce instead of the prime character–my (now) ex-wife. Certainly, I had good reason to feel angry towards those others. It was actually healthy to feel this … Continue reading “Anger towards “supporting characters””